The Client

Let me tell you a little story about the worst client I ever had and how I happened to meet him/her/it finishing in so a fantastic business relationship. (Exercise: Identify all the red flags and multiple names of this awesome client).

One day, I was at home and suddenly I was contacted via Linkedin 🚩 by the worst client ever.

He/She/this creature looked happy and kind, just wanted to do a website for a financial company. The first question asked was about price 🚩.

This dragon did not want any research, any design or whatsoever, just wanted to do it fast, beginning from a template 🚩 this way this snake could have a lower budget 🚩.

I don´t know why but I accepted it 🚩although it was a really low budget, maybe the black magic of this Komodo Dragon and its spell was influencing me.

This draconian person was working in the advertising industry but did not know much about digital 🚩, nothing about budgets, about timing, about how we work. Suddenly I was receiving lots of information from different sources: WhatsApp, phone calls, emails. It was so chaotic… 🚩

The big problem was not this, this five headed hydra had no content 🚩. So made things only to see how they looked like. I was a servant enchanted by the evil of the dragon.

Suddenly all the project stopped for more than two months 🚩. I didn´t have a mail, phone call or whatsoever. Well I called the snake a couple of times to know about the project.

And one day, the reptile appeared again, gliding over the swamp, as if nothing had happened. So this poisonous snake began to call me again and again, making request, and doing it at even hours: Mornings, lunch times, nights, weekends 🚩.

The stinking reptilian dragon had changes, changes from changes, changes from the changes made, changes from the changed changes that would be in the future future changes 🚩.

I realized there was a problem with timing 🚩. The times of the dragon accelerated as if the very end of the world was coming. As if furrowing through the furious flames, everything had to be fast. The end was near.

So I finished the project. What happened? The dragon met with others of his kind at a dragon convention (I think it was something as ‘Marketing for dragons’) and they decided to change the entire web 🚩. Only the translation of the website into English was missing

At this point in the story I drew my sword and faced the dragon. I told him that I had done my job and that if he wanted more, I would have to budget him again.

The dragon left and said he didn’t want to pay for the second part 🚩, not only that, as part of the website had advanced me, he said that he hadn’t finished my work and I had to compensate him. Finally we came to an agreement, I gave him a small part (to forget about all this), and I left there all this trash.

Beware of the Dragon client

Conclussions

1. I do not work with particulars any more, only for agencies (digital agencies, creative and media agencies, ux agencies or high tech)
2. I do not trade budgets. I make open budgets, for hours
3. I do not work with fixes, changes, templates or unfinished projects
4. I ask for Design and Content before moving forward
5. I work under contract
6. I use communication tools such as Slack