Last night, I felt insanely stressed from work. My to-do list grew exponentially, while my energy was lower with every box I checked. When I got home, I had no brain cells left. So I opened a bottle of wine and unlocked my phone screen.

Except, instead of going for Instagram, I opened my photos app.

I always find it comforting to look back at my experiences and remember the good times. It’s an interesting comparison to see how much I’ve changed over the years.

I scrolled until I found a picture of my first date with my boyfriend, Jonathan.

That night was unforgettable. Jonathan and I had a tangible connection — our conversation happened very naturally, and we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. The night was perfect: a warm summer night with a nice breeze.

But what I remember the most is how attracted I felt to Jonathan.

It got me thinking: why was I so attracted to him? Comparing to my previous dates, I don’t remember feeling so connected to another guy. So I reflected on all the things that made Jonathan attractive.

Here’s my conclusion:

Smile.

Smiling and attractiveness go hand-in-hand.

Jonathan has a perfect smile. I daresay he could be on a toothpaste commercial. And I know this because he smiles a lot. He has a vast sense of humor, and we laugh together constantly.

On our first date, I remember thinking that he had good energy — and I bet his smile gave me this impression.

A smile is a universal sign — it says you’re having a good time. Although this is a simple rule, people don’t associate the two things. This study shows that when we assess attractiveness, we look for signs of happiness. So smiling is a direct indicator of attractiveness.

At the end of the day, a happy face is a pretty face.

Wear perfume.

There is nothing sexier than a man wearing perfume.

When Jonathan picked me up at home for the date, his car smelled like his perfume. It was hypnotizing. I’m crazy about scents, and Jonathan’s was right on point. It was an immediate turn-on for me, and it set the mood for the rest of the night.

The perfume makes men charming, and it gives them the courage to behave more confidently. Besides, for women, smell plays a significant role in making men sexually attractive.

Wearing a nice perfume also shows that you put in the effort to look good for her. It sends an unconscious message that she is worth your time and that you care about your appearance.

Next time you go on a date, invest in a nice perfume!

Fix your posture.

Your body language mirrors your personality.

Jonathan is an extroverted guy. He makes friends very quickly and rarely runs out of topics to talk about. I’m his opposite: I love spending time alone and have few but good friends. But I always found extroverted people very attractive.

In retrospect, Jonathan’s body language showed reflected his personality perfectly.

Confident people tend to be more expansive. They occupy more room, spread their arms on the chair, and move their hands more. It shows you are a dominant person and feel comfortable. But, more importantly, an open posture shows confidence — and confidence is insanely sexy.

If you want to become attractive, remember to spread out.

Make questions.

Questions are a way to show interest in the other person.

On our first date, we were determined to get to know each other. Jonathan was a great listener: he gave time to talk, looked me in the eyes, and was genuinely interested in what I had to say.

Jonathan also made open questions. It was an effective strategy to keep me talking and to learn more about me. This way, he showed his interest in me with actions.

Making questions ensures that you give enough space for the other person to talk. The point of a date is to get to know each other, and you won’t achieve this if you only speak and don’t listen.

Ultimately, the questions are a tool to create a connection with the other person. Attractiveness also happens through the connection. And showing your interest in the other person creates this connection.

In the end, a good conversation makes you more memorable and attractive.

Speak slower.

Speaking a bit slower shows confidence.

Imagine this: you’re on a date with a girl, and she’s nervous. When she speaks, she stutters, skips some words, and looks overall uncomfortable. How attractive is she?

Jonathan was completely comfortable on our first date. This calm energy helped me to feel comfortable as well. I suspect that the way he talked played a role in showing his confidence.

When you speak slower, you show you have control over the situation. It’s a sign that you are comfortable with your date and you are having a good time. It’s an unconscious trick that makes flirting more effective.

Say her name.

The sound of our names is like music to our ears.

“A person’s name is to that person, the sweetest, most important sound in any language.” — Daniel Carnegie

The least you can do on a date is to remember their name. It shows consideration and respect for the other person. It’s also an effective way to retain their attention. While mistakes happen, forgetting your date’s name gives the impression that you are not interested.

If you want to take one step further, repeat it as often as you can. It’s an unconscious trick that makes you more likable — and, therefore, more attractive.