Responses (14)

I read once that we are all just glorified plants. When we are in a happy and healthy environment, we thrive, but when we are not, our bodies start to show signs quite quickly. It feels when we are mentally suffering in a relationship and shows us in different ways. It is easier to ignore and push back the anxious thoughts that come into our minds than our body showing us physically that something is not right.

When I was with someone who has NPD (narcissism) my body was telling me that things were not ok even though I was in denial about the true extent of the situation that I was in and how it was affecting me internally and externally.

“It is common for toxic relationships to not only affect the mind and spirit but also the body. Not only can we become biochemically addicted to the chronic highs and lows of a toxic relationship; trauma takes its toll on our physical well-being.”

-Shahida Arabi, MA, best-selling author of Power: Surviving and Thriving After Narcissistic Abuse

How your body can tell you if things are not ok.

Your vagina isn’t happy.

The vagina’s unhappiness can manifest itself in various ways from dryness in the vagina to excessive (sometimes) foul-smelling discharge, to an increased chance of catching STDs to a higher risk of catching urinary tract infections all caused by stress messing with the natural balance of your vagina.

I personally had never really had many vaginal problems, thankfully until I was with the wrong person. I had never googled as much in my life about different issues I was having to taking tablets and making regular trips to the pharmacy for creams to try and fix things as when I was with him. I felt like a plague had been placed on my vagina until I stopped seeing him. Basically, your vagina knows when you are with the wrong person.

You gain/lose weight abnormally.

Ok, so when we get with someone after a while, it is quite common to gain relationship kilos as you spend more time eating at restaurants and potentially drinking more alcohol on dates. But, if you are gaining or losing weight quickly, it is a sign that something could be wrong.

This could be for a variety of reasons. I was losing weight as I was eating less as I was feeling anxious, and due to the negative comments that I would receive about my figure, I was exercising more. On the other hand, you could gain weight due to comfort eating if your partner isn’t making you feel good about yourself, you turn to food to temporarily make you feel happy if that is your coping mechanism.

Your sleep is a mess.

When you are with the wrong person, you can often spend time agonising over the things they did or didn’t do that made you feel bad about yourself, especially when you are alone with your thoughts as you feel stressed. The remarks made in the day time that were pushed to the back of your mind come alive at night and affect your sleep. Your cortisol levels are soaring making it harder and harder to relax. And, if you are trying to sleep with that person and don’t feel comfortable with them, it makes it so much harder to sleep peacefully.

I used to feel like I was lying next to a vampire when I was next to my ex. He gave off the energy as if he was never really asleep, and it affected my own sleep greatly, which in turn affected my mood and productivity the next day.

You have pregnancy scares.

Your period is late, and you are feeling different or weird in your stomach. Something is not quite right, and you convince yourself that you are pregnant. Well, what else could it be? Anxiety, that’s what it could be. When your body is not happy, it can affect the timing of your periods. Coupled with that sickly feeling in your stomach (hello second brain-gut telling you things are not ok), you can easily mistake this for early signs of pregnancy as you are also having regular sex.

I convinced myself at one point I was pregnant due to my loss of appetite, delayed period, and feeling in my stomach only for another friend to tell me what I was actually describing were signs of anxiety.

Essentially these are all manifestations of stress and how the body reacts is different for different people. Listening to our body’s messages and what it is trying to tell us is such a meaningful way to stay healthy inside and out. As I am back to my ‘normal’ self with my body, I can see how much I was affected physically by being with someone that wasn’t right for me and didn’t have my intentions at heart.