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Once upon a time, I met the person I’d been asking the universe for. We even met in the exact way I would have wanted to.

I was on a solo rock-climbing road trip and through a series of fateful and unlikely events, we happened to be the only two people staying on a remote farm.

The first evening we met, we had a deep conversation late into the night. From that moment on, we were joined at the hip. We had a roaring adventure — climbing, making love, and road-tripping our way through the country. We poured our souls out and helped each other through tough times. By the end of that road trip, I had committed to moving to his state.

It seemed like the perfect fairy tale. And yet, it wasn’t.

There wasn’t a single moment where I was emotionally secure but there were many moments where I felt deeply lonely.

It was confusing. Wasn’t this exactly what I wanted?

I realized now that I had told the universe what I wanted to do in a relationship but not how I wanted to feel.

Outwardly — we had the same lifestyle goals, the same passions, and the same interests. Inwardly — we communicated feelings differently, resolved conflicts in polar opposite ways, and had mindsets that didn’t align.

We broke up.

When asked, I couldn’t quite express what was wrong, but I knew that nothing felt quite right.

After that relationship, I met someone who was the exact opposite of what I thought I wanted. At least on paper. We didn’t have the same lifestyle goals, we didn’t have sparkling chemistry the first day, and we were on vastly different paths in life.

And yet today, years later, each and every moment spent with him is pure bliss. I have never felt so truly seen and adored for who I am. Our days are filled with surprising playfulness. Though we were on vastly different trajectories in life when we met, we somehow seemed to have co-created a perfectly aligned reality today.

How did I get it so wrong?