Women at Work / Bonus

Coming in June: How to Manage

Listen | 4:25

We’ll guide new bosses through the most disorienting parts of becoming one.

May 04, 2023

Are you new to leading a team? You may have some—er, a lot—of questions. How do you gain your employees’ trust and respect? How should you handle the inevitable conflicts that come up? And how much power do you actually have, and how do you use it for good?

In this special series, we’ll be answering these questions and many more—including questions from listeners. When you assume responsibility for someone else’s assignments and professional development and happiness, feeling uncomfortable and unsure is totally normal. We’ll help you make sense of those feelings and not let them deter you from pressing ahead. Women make highly competent leaders when given the opportunity, so let’s make the best of this first foray into leadership.

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Amy Bernstein: We have an announcement to make. We’re planning a ninth season of the show, starting in October. But before then, for all you new managers out there, we have a little special project in the works.

Amy Gallo: It’s called How to Manage, and it’s four episodes that’ll help you prepare for and adapt to some of the most difficult and disorienting parts of becoming a boss. Like negotiating on behalf of other people and dealing with conflict on a seemingly daily basis. You know, it’s been a while since I dabbled in management. And what an experience that was.

Amy Bernstein: Yeah, and even though once I entered management I never left, that was 20 years ago. But I love swapping stories with women who’re new to running a team; and, if they want my advice, I’m happy to help them out.

Amy Gallo: Which is why our listeners are going to benefit so much from your deep knowledge, Amy B. And we’re bringing in our colleague Kelsey Alpaio to co-host the series with you while I focus on Season 9 stuff.

We adore Kelsey, and she has a lot to offer here. She writes and edits and stars in videos for Ascend, HBR’s vertical for early-career professionals. So, basically for the past couple of years she’s been soaking up management thinking and developing opinions and questions that I’m looking forward to hearing. Plus, she has much more recent experience than Amy B and I do with being a first-time manager. At the tech start-up where she worked right out of college, she managed a couple of direct reports and a few interns. Did I get that right, Kelsey?

Kelsey Alpaio: Yes, and honestly I’m not sure I ever want to be a manager again.

Amy Gallo: Uh oh. Why is that?

Kelsey Alpaio: I kind of got thrown into management in my first job, and I was totally unprepared for it. I just had no idea how hard it would be to manage all of the conflict and do all the problem solving, and just generally not feeling in control all of the time. And I just felt this genuine disconnect I felt from the creative work I loved so much before becoming a manager. It was just a really confusing time, and I’m not sure I’m ready to go back.

Amy Bernstein: Well, what you just described is the experience of everyone who’s thrown into management for the first time. I can go back to that, even though it was 20 years ago, and it was not easy to go from individual contributor to manager. We have a lot to talk about.

Kelsey Alpaio: We do, and I’m excited about it. We’ll be talking to experts, coaches, and new managers about some of the hardest and most rewarding parts of managing people for the first time.

We’ll talk about the fight to be taken seriously: How do you gain genuine respect and trust? What conversations will help you get there? And what should you do if the authority and influence you expected from your promotion isn’t materializing?

Amy Bernstein: We’ll also have an episode on dealing with conflict, whether it’s between team members or between you and a higher-up. That’s where you’ll come back in, Amy G, as our expert.

Amy Gallo: Yes, talking about my favorite topic: conflict and difficult conversations.

Amy Bernstein: And finally, we’ll tackle the challenge of finding yourself as a new manager. How can you develop a leadership style that suits you? There’s a lot to consider, and we’ll talk it all through.

Amy Gallo: If this lineup sounds like something you’ll want to listen to, make sure that you’re following Women at Work on your podcast app of choice so you’ll get notifications when we start releasing How to Manage episodes on June 5.

Kelsey Alpaio: And if you’re new to managing people, help us ensure that the series addresses the most pressing matters in your work life by telling us what those are! For instance, has anyone challenged your authority? How so? What unexpected conflicts have come up, and how did you handle them—or wish you had? What about negotiating for your team has been tough or confusing? How have you felt yourself changing as a person, and what’s been awkward or even painful about the process?

These are simply prompts to get you going. Ultimately, we just want to know whatever you’re concerned about, need guidance on, or have learned through experience.

Get in touch by writing or sending a voice memo to [email protected]

All: Bye!