Providing support to people is a challenging task and requires training. The difficulty in doing so is evident. Otherwise, mental health professionals would not be in such high demand. The fact that mental health experts know how to provide proper support highlights that there are proven ways to help individuals who are struggling.
Possible Approaches for Providing Support
When someone seeks help, they may receive different responses. Generally, there are three types of responses to people seeking help.
Firstly, toxic people may suggest that you continue to endure uncomfortable situations and avoid making changes in your life. Furthermore, they may make you feel like it is your fault and that you are obliged to stay where you are. Your success and recovery will only remind them of their own failures, and they may fail to perceive your positive messages as something they can also achieve.
Secondly, an average person may pretend to care or provide generic advice, such as “stay positive.” These people will not harm you, but they may not have the capability to help you because they are mainly focused on their own problems. They believe that taking the time to listen will be a waste of time for them.
Finally, individuals who are informed about traumatic experiences and have perhaps been victims of similar situations in the past will say the magic words “I am here for you.” Additionally, they will encourage you to express your feelings and let go of anger, stress, and disappointment without judging you. The openness displayed by these individuals instills hope and confidence that support is available.
The Importance of Responsibility
Our important “others” during childhood, such as family or caregivers, are responsible, up to a point, for our current experiences in the world. It is crucial to emphasize the importance of taking responsibility to avoid making further mistakes. People unwilling to take full responsibility for their actions may blame those who caused trauma for any miseries in their current lives. While this may be relieving up to a point, since it does not allow us to blame ourselves, it also deprives us of the possibility of controlling our lives and becoming better people.
Apart from ourselves, we must consider our actions’ impact on others. As adults, people hold us responsible for our situation and our actions. For example, a child who has experienced unpleasant situations may carry a lot of trauma and may not be held responsible for their reactions at that time. However, this trauma can cause a series of inexplicable actions in the future that may be difficult for others to understand unless they are aware of the person’s traumatic background. Let’s say the child who has now grown up into an adult repeats a similar behavior towards their own children. Who is to blame now? The parent or the grandparent? The answer that society gives to that question today is that the parent is responsible for the behavior they decide to have. This same concept can also apply to cases when people have to go to court. According to the law, the person who acted illegally will be held responsible for their actions. The court will not deal with the environment that affected this person in the first place.
People who realize that they have become abusers instead of victims are more likely to wake up and understand that they are in control. If they are capable of doing the worst, perhaps they are also capable of achieving the best. Therefore, adopting a responsible attitude that benefits ourselves and protects others is the wise thing to do. According to psychology, we are not responsible for how we feel but for what we do. However, what we do is closely related to how we feel. Therefore, being in contact with our inner selves is essential to understand ourselves and to control our reactions.

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