Happy almost-2023! Chances are that you’re contemplating making some New Year’s resolutions, so let’s get you set up for success with a few resolutions that will unlock the best version of you.

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#1 — Resolve to stop borrowing resolutions

Different people are different, so what works for you might not be what works for anyone else.

Understanding this is the single biggest step you can take in the direction of success. That’s precisely why I’m not going to do the standard guru thing of suggesting you copy my exact wellness plan after proving to you that I have a stack of credentials (I do) and I’m in shape (I am). My plan fits me, but you need a plan that fits you.

Quit borrowing other people’s resolutions

Whenever you’re tempted to copy your favorite celeb’s latest health plan, take a moment to think about some potential reasons that person is able to stick with it (assuming they are) which you might not know about. Do they have a private chef who prevents them from making food decisions? Do they secretly loooove cabbage? Is their job less stressful than yours? And so on.

If you’re following someone else’s plan and you’re struggling to stick with it, don’t beat yourself up.

Pretty soon, you’ll see a stack of reasons not to trust that their approach will fit you. Good. The sooner we crush your belief in hope and magic, the sooner you can get on track to self-improvement. Don’t resolve to stick to someone else’s plan, but do feel free to test-drive their approach (if it’s medically sane) to see if you learn anything about yourself in the process.

Make this your new goal: not to stick with a plan, but to learn something about yourself by trying it out.

#2 — Resolve to personalize your resolution

Even if you read the best scientific studies for inspiration, remember that those results are true on average… but no one is the average human. Start with what you know about “most people” and aggressively adjust it based on the highest quality of information available to you: self-discovery. Be your own test subject and study yourself!

I go into more detail here.

#3 — Resolve to create a failure action plan

If your New Year’s resolution doesn’t come with a plan for what you’ll do if you slip up, that’s a massive red flag. Contingency planning is key. Build in a plan for adapting your approach if you fall short of your target.

If you’re not failing, then you’re not learning.

If there’s no built-in plan for handling mistakes and adjusting your approach, that also means there’s no plan for learning from your mistakes.

#4 — Resolve to learn from failed resolutions

Every time you fail, you have a shot at doing better next time… as long as you learn something from your experience. Don’t throw the learning opportunity away by doing either of these things:

1. Taking your failure personally and giving up.
2. Resolving to fix it with willpower. (It doesn’t work.)

To succeed in the long run, try to focus more on your learning rate than your winning rate. If (when!) you encounter a wobble, don’t try to solve it with willpower. Solve it by designing a better path to your goal.

#5 — Resolve to put your outcome goals first

Think critically about the design of your plan: what behaviors does it motivate, and are these behaviors helpful or risky to your overall outcome goal? If falling short of a target (e.g. you said you wouldn’t eat chocolate and you did) has a high probability of triggering behaviors you’ll regret (e.g. you ate the whole candy store), then it’s an unwise resolution.

Over-ambitious plans often backfire.

#6 — Resolve to hack your motivation

To learn the tricks to making your motivation stick, you need to be a smart psychologist and hack your own brain. For my deep-dive into this topic, take a small detour to my list of motivation-hacking questions to help you get to know yourself better.

#7 — Resolve to set realistic goals

Always keep the basics in mind to make sure you set realistic goals:

• The lower the cost (in terms of money, effort, time, pleasure, attention, memory, happiness, and everything else) of following the plan you designed, the easier it is to stick with it
• The higher the benefit to you, the higher your chance of success.

#8 — Resolve to question the defaults

Every default you take for granted is a missed opportunity for a better life. For example, have you ever asked yourself why “a day” is the default window for diet/fitness targets? A day is an arbitrary unit! Perhaps you’d be better served by a longer window (gives you more flexibility to juggle other priorities but might encourage bad planning) or a shorter window (makes your effort more regular and if you fail, your chance at a “fresh start” comes sooner).

Every default you take for granted is a missed opportunity for a better life.

The more you ask “why?” the better your chances at designing an effective personalized program for success.

#9— Resolve to use nudges and fix sludges

Improvement doesn’t have to feel awful — always be on the lookout for the gentle upgrades to your self-improvement program that cost nothing (except a little bit of cleverness). Borrow some choice architecture ideas from behavioral economics on how to use nudges, which are adjustments to your environment that make it easier to make good choices. For example, you’re more likely to eat food that’s visible and easy to reach. At the same time, be on the lookout for sludges (frictions that make it harder to make good decisions) that you can delete from your life.

#10 — Resolve to pay the price

Are you making your resolution because it’s a real priority for you or is this the annual ritual of wishful thinking? For many people, New Year’s resolutions are merely an opportunity to dream about what they’d do if they had more time/energy/resources… but they don’t, so adding a new commitment to the pile doesn’t stick.

You’ll have to actively make space for something new.

Chances are that all your time, energy, and other resources are committed, so you’ll have to actively make space for something new. Think about what you’re willing to give up and resolve to pay the price if you want to make a major change.

#11 — Resolve to track your progress lightly

Some goal tracking is helpful for staying on track, but don’t overdo it! If keeping a detailed tracker/diary costs you too much effort, there’s a danger that you’ll drop not only the tracking but also the resolution itself. That’s massively counterproductive! To succeed, opt for the minimum amount of data entry that will keep you honest.

Opt for the minimum amount of data entry that will keep you honest.

#12— Resolve to design some action sparks

If your resolution involves taking actions that aren’t already a habit for you, it’s a losing battle to trust yourself to remember to do them. Instead, you need to design action sparks—effective and actionable reminders that arrive at the most optimal time for triggering your desired action. It would be a shame to blame failure on a problem with willpower when the real culprit was skipping the crucial step of figuring out how to send yourself effective reminders.

#13— Resolve to learn some negotiation tricks

If you’ve ever muscled up on your negotiation skills (a solid choice if you’re still in the market for a category of New Year’s resolution, by the way) then you’ll probably have learned a lot about persuading others. Now that you’re crafting New Year’s resolutions, it’s worth revisiting what you’ve learned since all those skills are just as applicable to bargaining with yourself. Which you’ll need because of #15, but first…

#14 — Resolve to let your non-priorities set you free

Take stock of your non-priorities and be brave enough to question the constraints you’re allowing your life to be ruled by. As soon as you spot a non-priority that is getting in the way of your resolution, sacrifice it to make space for success.

Being explicit about a non-priority makes it much easier to talk yourself into giving it up.

For example, if the thought of spending an hour fixing your hair is what’s stopping you from doing some exercise, ask yourself whether your hair is a higher priority than your fitness. If it isn’t, make your peace with keeping the post-workout hair and move on with your day. Being explicit about a non-priority makes it much easier to talk yourself into giving it up.

#15— Resolve to get your multiple selves in line

Choice is a good thing, right? Sure, if it’s Long-Run You who’s doing the choosing. There’s a chance you’re failing at your self-improvement goals because you’ve got multiple selves in control at different times: Long-Run You and Short-Run You. And these multiple selves have different incentives!

Economics has a wonderful concept that perfectly captures the problem. It’s called the principal-agent problem.

Principal = Business owner (analogy for Long-Run You)

Agent = Hired executive (analogy for Short-Run You)

Feel free to read up on what economics says about this, but I’ll summarize the upshot for you here: serious problems arise when the owner has different incentives (e.g. profit/health) from whoever’s running the show in the short term (e.g. ego/a sugar hit). To fix these problems, the first move is to try to align the incentives. (That’s what those negotiation skills in #13 might help with.) If that doesn’t work and the incentives of the principal and the agent can’t be aligned, economists will tell you that the solution is for the principal to constrain the agent’s choices.

Use a pre-commitment strategy to take away your ability to choose.

Start by recognizing that the you who’s drooling over the cupcakes and the you who’s making the resolution to be healthy aren’t the same you. If one can’t be trusted with the other’s goals… stop trusting!

In other words, if you’re repeatedly messing up at meeting your long-run goals because Short-Run You keeps making irresponsible choices, then you might need to do something dramatic: use a pre-commitment strategy to take away Short-Run You’s ability to choose. If Short-Run You isn’t permitted to make those counterproductive choices in the first place, then the problem solves itself.

Thanks for reading!

You can do it! Happy New Year!

I hope you liked this article, and if you did like it, feel free to like it. Or give it a little motivational clap-clap (yes, you can clap multiple times if you like, 50 times even). ❤

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