7

Getting it or not getting it, and then what?

 1 year ago
source link: http://rachelbythebay.com/w/2022/11/10/quad/
Go to the source link to view the article. You can view the picture content, updated content and better typesetting reading experience. If the link is broken, please click the button below to view the snapshot at that time.
neoserver,ios ssh client

Getting it or not getting it, and then what?

I've been pondering a hypothesis for a while now. It has to do with the way that groups of people cluster together, particularly when certain topics are involved. This is a simplification for the sake of trying to better understand the things I witness every day.

First, there are the actual states you could be in:

(A) I understand the situation.

(B) I don't understand the situation.

Then there's the way you are taking it:

(1) I accept that I am in whatever state that I am in.

(2) I don't accept that I am in whatever state that I am in.

Put these together and now we're talking quadrants. Four possibilities. Which one are you?

A1: This person understands, and accepts that they understand it. They might be living it (whatever "it" is in this case) and have no choice in the matter. They just *are*.

B1: This person doesn't understand, but they accept the fact that they do not in fact get it. They can work at understanding things at their own pace. They might also appreciate that they may never fully "get it" if they don't actually live it. They're usually not the problem.

A2: This person understands, but doesn't accept that they actually do. This is basically impostor syndrome. This person can be counseled and treated with care, and sometimes might be "brought out of their shell" to start believing in themselves. Also not the problem.

B2: This person doesn't understand, and can't accept it. They usually lash out at other people as a result. Even reading things like this enrages them, and they turn to their local hive of other insecure people to yell into the echo chamber. They're usually too stupid to realize that lashing out identifies them *clearly* as members of this set. They could just shut the fuck up and then they'd at least LOOK like a member of some other set. Tiny in membership, but appears way bigger by way of being incredibly loud assholes. Also possibly tiny in member-ship.

And, sure, there are other dimensions. There always are. Life is complex. A reasonable person can read this approximation and not be threatened by it.

Shut up, B2s.

The thing is, I came up with this to talk about tech work. There are some people who are terrible at this stuff, but are okay with that. Then there are the ones who are terrible, *and* they are giant assholes about it. You can spot that second group really easily because they will self-identify any time a sufficiently skilled individual does something and it crosses their path. It's narcissistic injury on their part. Go read up on it.

It's kind of useful since you have this group that makes things terrible for other people, and there they are, jumping up and down, waving flags and screaming to get attention because they will never get attention for excelling, since, well, they can't. It's like, gee, you don't have to kick out most of the people. Just get the few assholes in that group - they'll even help you find them! Your group will be far healthier for it.

Again, I came up with this some years ago in private to try to get a handle on why a handful of people at companies turn into such giant problems for other people, and how they can multiply if they are allowed to remain in a group setting. You know, like certain web forums.

It just so happens to also work for some other things in life. If you got through the first part and thought I was talking about one of those things, then you probably agree without even realizing it. How about that.


report

Recommend

About Joyk


Aggregate valuable and interesting links.
Joyk means Joy of geeK