The first time I remember having a fancy dinner on my own was at the Grand Floridian while in the Disney College Program. It was my first Christmas away from home, and even though I would spend the actual holiday with my family, I wanted to gift myself something memorable. Something that felt grown-up.

I didn’t tell anyone I was going. I didn’t want people to think I was snobby, partly because I wanted to indulge and was ready to put the money down for it. Neither did I want to feel self-conscious about making another 20-something spend money or see how much I was willing to pay. 20-year-old girl insecurities, you know?

That night, I took the bus with students in resort uniforms and stuck like a fancy sore thumb. I arrived at the hotel, and a friendly hostess asked, “Do you want to wait for your party?”

“The reservation is for one,” I replied.

“For one?”

“Yes.”

She tilted her head, a little befuddled. “Well, ok. Follow me.”

While she walked me to the table, I soaked in the opulent decor and felt excited about the coming meal. It already felt like a great gift.

As soon as I sat, I took out a book, Wicked (I remember because I loved the green page edges), and waited. The waiter, a fellow Puerto Rican, approached me and, with our typical “Ay bendito!” (Aw, sweetie! Loosely translated), let me know that he pitied me for eating on my own.

But I had no time for that. I had bigger fish to fry or, rather, veal shank to stew. As I read the menu, the Osso Buco jumped out at me mainly because I had never tried it before, but you know when you read ingredients if something works for you. I was right! The meat fell off the bone so soft and flavorful that it exploded in my mouth. It was comforting and warm. All the while, the staff kept walking to my table to make small talk about the meal.

Before I could even look at the dessert menu, my new waiter friend brought me a decadent chocolate cake on the house. I ate it too, amused by the great concern my table of one had created. I could only imagine the host and server talking to other staffers about the lonely girl at table 12.

I left that restaurant so incredibly satisfied with the food and my experience that eating alone is something I enjoy to this date.

My culture, like many others, revolves around meals. Food is a way of connecting, sharing, remembering, rebelling, and so many other things brilliant people have written about and people like Anthony Bourdain showcased. I delight in eating and sharing. I adore “sobremesa” conversations and the opportunity to try different things. I’m known for taking, with permission, food from my friend’s plates because if we can’t share a bite, our friendship may be short-lived. Just saying.

But in my day-to-day life, I spend most of my lunches and dinners at a singles table or, even better, sitting at the bar listening to my thoughts.

If we look at the immediate tangible benefits, I will point out the obvious; it is easier to be a walk-in when you can sit at the bar. I have gone to packed restaurants on a whim and got in 99% of the time. Also, people sitting at a bar are usually more talkative. Bartenders are usually fun to talk to if they aren’t in a rush. Please, don’t chat up a busy bartender.

In an emotional sense, some of my favorite experiences have been waiting for a fantastic plate while reading a book. I don’t know if it’s because I’m an only child or because my working hours were always unsynched with my friends, but I had to learn that spending time with yourself is necessary. You have to make it fun.

A meal can be an excellent time to get your thoughts in order, distract yourself, or simply take a break. If you’re refueling your body, you might as well refuel your soul.

Eating by yourself has become a more accepted practice on par with new self-care trends. The perception of people who like to spend time on their own is slowly changing, and that’s good! Partly because I’m entirely over people looking at me weird when I say things like “I went to the movies alone,” and also because spending some time alone makes me feel a lot more confident and happy.

I don’t have to wait for a friend to do what I want or resent if the group decides to do something different. I choose to comply because I know I can do whatever I miss on my own and have fun.

I filled my cup, and now I can pour for others. Now, when are we meeting for dinner? There’s this fantastic new place…