If you’re struggling to make friends as an adult, you’re not alone. According to research, the average American hasn’t made a new friend in five years. That’s a large number of lonely people in the world, isn’t it?

Here are a few signs of loneliness…

- Inability to connect with others
- No close or “best” friends
- Feelings of isolation
- Negative feelings of self-doubt and self-worth

There’s no need to throw in the towel just yet. Don’t get me wrong: it will take some work, but it’ll be worth it. And I’ll be right here to guide you.

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How to Make Friends as an Adult

1. Know Yourself

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What do you like to do in your spare time?

Do you like to read, write, or play recreational softball? Hold tight to these things — they will be essential in your path to finding friends.

Make a list of 3–5 hobbies or interests.

1. Writing
2. Reading
3. Coffee

How can it become social?

1. Writing groups, classes, and live readings.
2. Book clubs, author events, silent reading groups.
3. Become a coffee shop’s beloved regular, barista classes, join a Meetup.

By making your hobbies social, you will find other like-minded people who love the same thing.

Be confident!

Embrace who you are and approach your new journey with confidence. Your positive enthusiasm will draw others to you, and accepting yourself is a necessary form of self-love.

2. Take Action

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The most important step to making new friends is finding the courage to put yourself out there. Even though it’s hard, and you may worry about regret or rejection, consider the possibility that you’re changing your life for the better.

Reach out

Do you have an old friend you miss talking to? A coworker that you get along with? Before taking other measures, consider reaching out to people in your circle first.

Go out

Take another look at your hobby list and consider which one sounds the most appealing. If none of your hobbies match up with something social, it may be time to try something new. Beginner classes and volunteering are great options.

Stay in

If your area is small and does not have many social events, go online.

• Search for your hobby’s Discord here
• Find a Facebook group
• Participate in a subreddit

3. Be a Friend

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To keep your new friendships, you need to be a good friend.

Be a listener

Talking about yourself continuously in a new friendship will make the conversation one-sided and unenjoyable for the other party.

- Listen closely
- Ask questions
- Show genuine interest

Don’t

- One-up them
- Interrupt mid-sentence
- Only talk about yourself

Say yes

Often, friendships fizzle out when invites go ignored for too long. It’s excellent to set boundaries, but if you find yourself declining invites more often than not, your new friendships may not last.

4. Maintain It

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Now that you know where to meet your new friends and how to make your time together more enjoyable, let’s see how to maintain these friendships.

Be a planner

If the other party is always the one planning hangouts, it won’t go unnoticed. Maintaining friendships as an adult means going out of your way to see each other, even when life gets busy.

Text back

If someone doesn’t hear from you, they’ll take it as a sign. If you’re not a texter, then maintaining friendships will be challenging, but the effort you put in will be worth it.

Making friends as an adult isn’t easy, but you are well on your way to forming lifelong friendships. Even if it takes a few tries, the people you want in your life are out there. All you need to do is find them.

Key Points
- Know yourself and your hobbies.
- Actively participate in social settings.
- Be a listener and a good friend.
- Plan hangouts and text back.