Raised in an Asian family, I was taught to stay humble and not flaunt my positive qualities. Talking about one’s own achievements is considered bragging and is frowned upon. In a workplace, it looks like keeping my head down, doing good work in silence, and not “showing off” my impact (because I’m supposed to do good work). Quietly, I hope and expect my effort and contribution to be recognized organically.

Do you notice what is missing in this line of thinking? Hint: unexamined and unexpressed expectations. Communication is vital in any relationship, from our relationship with our manager to that with our closest friend. No one is a mind reader. Expecting someone else to understand our needs when we haven’t self-checked whether our expectation is realistic or communicated what we need is bound to lead to disappointment.

At work, knowing what you need and communicating it is called self-advocacy. It took me years and some hard lessons to shed my family’s teaching, and relearn that self-advocacy is not arrogance. Instead, it is a healthy form of affirmation and boundary setting.

In this article, I want to focus on one form of self-advocacy we all experience at some point in our careers: asking for a promotion. You may have cringed a little at the thought of it. I get it — asking for a promotion can be emotional, vulnerable, and uncomfortable. You may fear judgment and rejection and feel unable to begin the conversation, even though you know what you want and how much you deserve it. That said, with some practice, you can do it.

As now a manager and then an individual contributor, I have been on both sides of the table. I have awkwardly asked for a promotion and fumbled with my words. I have also had to say no to requests for a raise. I want to offer you a loose structure in approaching this critical career conversation, from clarifying your own needs to communicating them to another party.

Be clear on what you want

First thing first — do you know what you want and why? If your answer is “I want the promotion because everyone on my level has been promoted,” I’d invite you to slow down and go a little deeper. What does the promotion mean to you? Is it more power, more money, or more responsibilities? What does it enable you to do that you cannot do right now? How does it align with your values and goals? Whenever possible, personalize your wants.

When I was a senior designer, I had to talk with my manager about why I wanted to be a UX manager. To me, being a UX manager means I get to do more of what I love — growing talents. It aligns naturally with my skills and passion, and I believe that I could make a difference in someone else’s career. In fact, being able to articulate my wants to another person felt like a surge of empowerment and solid self-validation.

Pick your frame of mind

We don’t talk nearly enough about the importance of a mindset. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% your mindset and how you respond. In the book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Carol Dweck explored how a growth mindset could directly impact the life and career you lead. The same principle applies here. Before you go into that meeting, how do you choose to view this experience? What is the outcome you hope to achieve for both parties involved?

One mindset I see often is “I have to get it, or else.” While it is crucial to be assertive, a “you vs. me” mentality is likely to activate the amygdala and trigger defensiveness. Instead, consider treating it as a dialogue in an ongoing relationship. It is an opportunity to showcase your ambition and skills as well as to listen and learn.

Compile a list of accomplishments and impact

Be ready to give specific examples of why you deserve the promotion. What are the achievements that demonstrate your growth and readiness for the promotion? What is your impact, and can you quantify it? What are your unique skills and knowledge that can contribute to the success of the new role?

There are different ways to demonstrate the impact, including product/project success metrics, peer feedback, and endorsement. Consider these two examples.

1. I have worked very hard in the past 6 months and shipped several key projects. I know for a fact that my work has increased the product value and user satisfaction.
2. As one of the four UX designers on the team, I have been acting as the lead designer while shipping three high-profile projects in the past six months. The most recent dashboard revamp project I led has increased customer satisfaction by 9%. I have also received a number of positive feedback from my cross-functional team on my approach to collaboration and trust building, which positively shifted how they leverage UX.

By quantifying your impact with examples and metrics, you add credibility to your case. It also shows that you understand how UX contributes to business needs and how you have done your part to move the business forward.

Understand the company’s promotion system

In many companies, to be promoted to the next level means that you need to demonstrate that you are already performing at that level. The artifact that comes handy is a job level and expectation document. Knowing what your company expects of you helps you build a narrative that ties your existing impact to the business guidelines and requirements.

At Shopify, each UX role has several levels (e.g., senior vs. staff vs. principal), and each level has distinct responsibilities and expectations. All this can be found in our internal Career Framework. It not only helps each crafter calibrate where they are in the process of achieving their goals, but also provides a fair framework for assessing the impact of different individuals.

It may also be a good idea to do some research on how promotion decisions are made in your company (i.e., if there is a single decision maker or a committee where each promotion case is discussed and debated). For more senior roles, the promotion decisions tend to be discussed and made by a committee of senior stakeholders.

Share how the promotion will benefit the team and company

A promotion is a business decision, and it needs to demonstrate business value. As you advocate for yourself, it is also your responsibility to help the decision makers understand how you being in the new role will benefit the business.

Suppose you’d like to be promoted to the senior UX researcher position. At that level, you could help shape the future of the product by focusing on more complex and strategic product problems/gaps. You would also help nurture the junior bench and cultivate the UX culture by mentoring and coaching junior researchers.

Practice, practice, practice

Roleplay with friends, mentors, and coaches. Ask them to pay attention to your delivery and give you feedback. It is also a good time to practice the “no” conversation. Because it can be highly emotional, anticipating how you may handle potential rejections can make the real scenario more manageable. Pay attention to the thoughts that may come up, “I’m not good enough”/”this is not fair”/”I knew I shouldn’t have asked”/etc. You don’t need to have an answer to these intrusive thoughts right away (this in itself is a whole other topic), but do practice staying grounded so that the heightened emotions do not hijack you in the meeting.

If you receive a “no,” be prepared to ask follow-up questions and work out a plan to address the gaps. Set a timeline with your manager to review your progress and readiness again in the future. This can be incorporated into your growth plans.

The first time you ask for something, whether a promotion or salary increase, can always be nerve-wracking. Treat it as one of the many opportunities to practice self-advocacy. Each time you champion for yourself, it strengthens your advocacy muscles. What’s more is that regardless of the result, you obtain more data and can regroup/determine your next steps.

May you be the fierce advocate you always deserve. ❤

Hello! I’m Sam, a UX Manager by day at Shopify, a certified Co-Active Coach by night. I work with emerging leaders to bring their vision to life. If you’re curious about coaching and how it could unblock your life and career, book some time to chat with me.