OPINION

Most of us were newly sprouting grass in our 20s; some were setting out for our first jobs, while others were still studying. If you are lucky, you may have already realized your life goal and are confident with your well-prepared journey over the past years. If you are less lucky, your 20s will be an “unpleasant” time.

“Unpleasant” because we still have not yet been accustomed to the “adult” tag, and “unpleasant” because we have to witness all the successful people while not having enough experience and knowledge to figure out who we are.

All the decisions we make at this stage of life always seem “off,” and none of which would make us feel satisfied.

Looking back at my ten years of working experience, I realize that I have made some right decisions, although some people would consider those decisions as “foolish judgments” at that time. However, I also made some mistakes when I was young, impulsive and restlessly urging myself to rush forward in my career.

A mistake I made at noon could lead to emotional distress and cost me a sleepless night. Hence, I woke up tired the next day. Some mistakes damaged the whole project, made me furious, and tormented me for a long time.

But then, I thought to myself: “Are those mistakes worth regretting?”

Mistake 1: Gambling with my health.

To quickly gain exceptional experience, I worked at three companies simultaneously.

For more than two years, I had worked 17 hours a day, from 8.30 am to 5.30 am, then from 10 pm to 6 am the next day. This is how I damaged my health… By obsessing over unfinished tasks, I could not sleep. Sleep deprivation caused me to become emotionally unstable and ruined my digestive system. The motivation to work like that was the pressures from the initial difficulties when accomplishing the design industry.

I started my career two years later than my peers, without any family’s support, with no accomplishment that comes anywhere close to my friends’, and with the aggressive yearning to prove myself to others. Perhaps this is a wager to trade your health for work experience. I won that “gamble,” but it could have been a failed one, a huge mistake if I hadn’t been healthy enough.

Mistake 2: Saying yes to everything even though we know people are taking advantage of us.

“Let me create and send you three options. If you don’t choose any, I won’t charge”.

I had always approached this way in the early years when I saw someone looking for a designer. I was willing to do the work for free to have more products in my portfolio, although I had been taken advantage of by people many times before.

• There were times when I did not get paid even though they used my design.
• There were tasks I had done, even though they were not part of my responsibilities.

But do you know what the worst is? I was overloaded with tasks and could not guarantee work quality. I disappointed those who trusted me, which was the saddest thing. If I was lucky enough to successfully push my health to its limits, I failed so many times in terms of ability. All of the above events helped me understand that it was okay for me to be taken advantage of, but the drawback is that I could not complete and deliver the significant work to my fullest potential.

Mistake 3: Hesitating to stand up for our needs.

I used to get my salary increased three times in six months.

Of course, a salary increase is not enough to indicate a good or bad work environment. However, I am lucky to have worked at these companies: TQDesign, YoungWorld, IgnitionDeck, InteractiveLabs, and now GEEK Up. My salary increase continuously shows that I had bosses who recognized employees' efforts. At the same time, this event inadvertently created pressure, making me think that I was valuable and favored, so I had to be the one to contribute the most. I had done everything. I even did the things I hated, or while I was exhausted, I would not dare to complain and talk about the experience of overworking with others.

I, too, had been without a raise for three years.

Having been offered a higher starting salary than the previous company, I thought they were enough, and I would only need to focus on my work and improve myself more. I tried to complete my tasks as perfectly as possible, whether it was mine or someone else’s. I gave up my comfort to ensure the work quality met my boss’s expectations. I received many benefits like support to buy a laptop and pay tuition fees, but I did not see any progress in my work after a while. At that time, I thought the increase and decrease in salary reflected career progression (there will be signs like these later). I should have taken my leave to rest whenever I felt overloaded or asked for a raise when I made significant progress.

Yes, there was a time when I did not appreciate myself.

Mistake 4: Being too busy and not having the time for relationships.

With such a tight schedule, I didn’t even have the time to rest, let alone maintain relationships. I had lost almost all my friends from school and could not make any new ones.

• There have been peaks when my friend said if I didn’t join them this time, they would never invite me again.
• There have been achievements, and I did not know who to share my joy with.
• There were times when I felt empty every time I stopped thinking about work.

It would be too greedy for us to seek an ideal situation where we can balance every aspect. Our life revolves around trade-offs. When we make decisions, we put one thing down to pick another. Therefore, I chose to let my friends know my value ladder and what I preferred to achieve at that point.

• Those who tried to understand my circumstances are still friends with me.
• For those who stopped contacting me, I would happily move on.

There comes a time when we realize that the number of hours a day remains unchanged no matter how humble or glorious our career is. We can only give this limited time to people who genuinely care about us.

Mistake 5: Misbehaving with colleagues and bosses.

“My design is dainty, and it has been approved, so if you don’t think it’s nice, please check your aesthetic.”

That was my reaction to a programmer in the team when I got negative feedback about my design. The boss’s recognition and people’s approval on social media had pushed my ego to the top. I wanted to protect my design beliefs so much that I paid no respect to my colleagues. I was lucky to make this mistake in my early years when my ego was not too big. With everyone’s suggestions and advice from books, I have learned how to optimize my ego in the workplace. Another communication mistake I made was being too friendly to my boss.

Until now, I have not met any bad bosses, and I still keep in touch with them as brothers. However, by being close, I used to casually joke beyond the limit with my boss in front of our colleagues. A professional demeanor is to behave according to the context. Being close to colleagues is good, but I should also help them maintain a professional image, especially when they have a high position in the organization.

Mistake 6: Always thinking growth is going up vertical — not horizontal.

I used to think that the growth of a career is a translational motion that goes up, accompanied by achievements, money, and fame. So, I felt I should only focus on developing professional skills without paying attention to other skills. Unless you are working in a field that requires meticulous craftsmanship and the final product is complete from one person’s abilities, the in-depth professional skills development can still send you to become an artisan, which can be considered the pinnacle of a career.

Product design is different because the product results from many teams with a broad range of professions from Business, Design, Marketing, Sales, Programming, Operations, etc. To create maximum value for what you are performing, you must explore and develop more soft skills.

Read more: Don’t Just Focus on the Pixel Skills

Mistake 7: Being afraid to raise questions, thinking that asking too much is not smart.

This blunder followed me from my student days to my work years. I was very sloppy when receiving new design briefs because I thought highly of myself, believing that I would find a way to understand the problem. I also thought that if I asked too many questions, people would think I was an amateur with a low level of expertise. The damage is that it usually takes me more time to self-clarify the assignment, or I even do the task wrong. It can be considered a “work hard but not smart” mistake.

Mistake 8: Being overly trusting others.

When you think that trusting your teammate is the right thing to do, slowly, you’ll realize that if you put trust incorrectly, its consequences can be dangerous:

• Trusting is different from expectations: too much trust will lead to over-expectation, and when we get disappointed, we will blame others.
• Trusting is different from ignoring: trusting means you believe your teammates can solve their problems by themselves, and you don’t need to follow up. If so, you would pass up the opportunity to help them complete the project more smoothly.

Having experienced this mistake many times, I believe that trust is the first condition for us to work as a team, but it is necessary to distinguish between two types of trust:

• Trusting everyone’s desire to get the best out of the project. This is the right kind of trust.
• Trusting your teammate’s comprehensive ability instead of understanding that everyone has strengths and weaknesses is the wrong trust.

Another lesson I learned when I realized this mistake is that when working with people who put too much trust in you, let them know your limitations as soon as possible. It helps us maintain a reasonable threshold of expectations, which also aids stronger relationships.

Final thoughts

I will make more mistakes, but I think there is no shame in making mistakes on the path of personal development. Learning nothing from them is more regrettable. These mistakes help shape one’s characteristics because each experience is different. They justify that it is better to have the courage to try and learn from failure than never knowing the outcome. Finally, learning to face our own mistakes casually will make it easier for you to forgive others’ mistakes.