Paula Patton’s response to getting dragged throughout social media for her questionable chicken frying skills was the quintessential example of being unbothered at its highest platitude. In a culture where quick abrasive quips and snapbacks are celebrated, Patton’s light-hearted uber sincere response was a breath of fresh air. I can only strive to reach that level of happiness and lack of care and concern about the unsolicited opinions of others.

Earlier this week, social media went ablaze after actress Paula Patton recorded herself making a controversial batch of chicken for her son’s class. She was criticized for everything from not properly cleaning her clucks to seasoning the chicken after putting it in a skillet filled with oil to fry — and rightfully so. Cleaning chicken should always require more than a quick brisk brush through water, and seasoning chicken while frying defeats all sound logic. Be that as it may, Patton’s response was priceless. She began the video by sending us her warmest and most sincere salutations from Mexico while she and her son were living their literal best lives. Captioned as “Peace, love, and fried chicken,” she said,

“I just wanted to respond and say listen; I get it. It might look crazy. It is the way we do it. My mom taught me.”

All smiles and with flawless glowing skin, the “Mission Impossible” actress clarified that she did wash the chicken thoroughly and that editing may have made it look otherwise. Patton also addressed how she seasoned the chicken, saying that she does have a new recipe and is open to suggestions but vowed to “always make my mom’s chicken the way she did it.” “We put the seasonings in the oil and all that,” she said. “It’s just the way we do it.”

Believe it or not, this may be a teachable moment. So, before you dismiss her response and move on to the next, here are five things to learn from Paula Patton’s reaction and the art of being unbothered:

1. Being unbothered is not a noun; it’s an adjective. We often hear people claim that they are unbothered about a specific topic or situation while engaging in a passionate — and maybe even enraged — full-on monologue over the very subject they claim to be unfazed by. These types of responses are not cute and don’t entirely give unbothered. In fact, they give pressed and are a dead giveaway that the person is very much bothered. In other words, being unbothered is not just a label that we can slap on a situation as steam billows from our ears. It’s truly an action.
2. Confidence doesn’t have to be loud and boastful. In Patton’s response, she basically said that she will continue making her crazy clucks the way her mother makes them regardless of our opinion, but that she is also open to entertaining other recipes. In other words, she said what she said and did not back down. She was confident in her decision, but she did not have to yell or go into a snap-back fit over her criticism. She communicated the same message with warm words and sun-kissed vacation skin.
3. Stop caring about the opinions of others. This has a lot to do with making decisions confidently. Making decisions that we believe in and feel confident about makes it easier to care less about what other people think. Folks will always have an opinion about the best way for you to live your life while they live their lives as they see fit. Take what makes sense and feels right for you and politely leave the rest. Either way, stop caring about what other people think and remember that rarely will you be able to make everyone in your life happy, and it’s not your responsibility to do so.
4. Choose your battles carefully. Between fighting against the evils of racism, sexism, and the multitude of other forms of injustice that plague the U.S., Black women and women of color overall, have enough on our plate. Many of us are weary. So, remember we don't have to fight every fight. Quite frankly, some things and some people do not deserve your time or energy. Be selective when choosing the hills that you’re willing to die on.
5. Smile more and be happy. It’s a lot more fun to smile and be happy than to frown and be miserable. It’s just that simple.