Enjoyed the article Derek.

Hell Yeah or No has been one of my guiding principles ever since I first read it a while back. This post is a reminder that it's not easy to say "no", not easy to get stuff done and it does require sacrifice. Very helpful to hear again and again. ☺

Yes, it is hard to choose when we have too many choices. Yes, it is important to create urgency or blow up the bridge, so we know there are no going back, only forward regardless if it shine or rain. Challenge for me is to know what is THE thing to do. Or perhaps I will only discover 'it' while I am doing it....so what is that one meaningful thing to do?

At 63 and having my life and dream destroyed for trusting someone back to 79. I can't seem to find the new business name new Web name etc. Can't get the creative mind working again for creating the music to share with the world. My trust in people say ing I can help you I am saying no to for the most part. I am on disability and it does not cover all of expenses. So through my art and music it payed got all the normal expenses that come up and some of the every day stuff. So I flat don't know now what to do out here in business and sharing my abilities. I thank you for all you share with us. Wishing you enough......

Exactly what I needed to read today. Thanks Derek!!

This year I am starting on a new profession as a film composer and got a couple of projects (sort of, it doesn't pay yet). but I still have a day job and family pressures. Saying "no" can be difficult but is sometimes necessary.

I think that it's different strokes for different folks? Some respond better to a lockdown to produce… I think I think I work better creatively with the scatterbrain approach. Whether it's songwriting or painting doing my graphic design for a living. The thing that motivates me over the finish line in my variety of projects is seeing a lifetime of procrastination from my father and not wanting to follow in his footsteps.

there's another layer to this. i made a request of you to speak at a conference and you said no. that set in motion a chain of events that led me to find new people and experiences i never would have had, had you accepted. so thanks for refusing.

There is only the present moment to work! "No" creates the freedom to enter your closet and express your discipline without distraction.

In that spirit enjoy the latest from my studio:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3W_8DsbMLD8

Great to hear from you Derek.
I've be to NZ many times. It is my favorite country. May its majesty inspire your efforts to your highest expression!

John

This is just the kick in the pants I needed. Thank you. Time to get to work.

Sieze the day. From my experience, there is nothing worse than not doing what you need to be doing. It catches up to you :)

You are a great man for once saying yes and now saying no, they're both great choices. I remember once when you answered my email with a question about how to send out products in a bundle and I felt so incredibly blessed that you took the time given all that you've achieved. It's also totally cool to focus on ourselves and take care of what we want to accomplish. Your generous Ness has supported so many artists and what I'm learning is that it's OK to not succeed in a straight line and it's OK not to help others. It's probably true that we do give what we get but it doesn't have to be in the single interactions it can be and probably is giving what we want from the heart the way we want to give it and it couldn't be toward our own art. I wish you great happiness in your simplification of your life. And thank you for all your contributions to everyone it's all good and thank you for all your contributions to everyone, it's all good..

Oh, yes! The Resistance. Know it well! Not everyone has the luxury to say no to everything else, and of those that do, not many have the courage and drive to do it. I think there are deep lessons/gifts of insight hidden within The Resistance...not least among them getting the ego out of the way with all its many faces and motivations! Excruciating process; including universal verities such as the concepts of surrender, detachment, attunement, Divine Timing, humility, and a host of others. For some cranking up the will-power works and for others a humble submission to the Divine Will (not as giving up, but as the Gita expounds - to act most diligently, but not for self and without attachments to the fruits of the labor. It's a huge topic. Wishing you well in all of your inner and outer endeavors and that every "no" brings you closer to the big Yes!!

Best of luck, Derek. I can only imagine how it must feel to be constantly inundated with requests. Tough job. :-/

The Greeks used to call it burning the boats (no going back) and Sun Tzu mentioned it as the killing fields. When you put yourself in a "win or die" situation, it is amazing how well you can perform.. but then again, just saying yes to one thing and staying focused is probably best.. <3

All great things begin with solitude. Congrats Derek - best of luck as you figure it all out.

Always love your writing style .conservative with language . Always with a visual .Concise short sentences . Making deeply thought out points with compassion and no judgement . Like a great song . Thanks Derek . Keep it up .

I almost said "no" to reading your post ... I have an article due for a small newsletter and the editor has been pressing for it. So, I got up early today to work on it, but took the email temptation to ... well, I told myself that I would read my emails just to wake up. (LOL) So, now to work ... thanks Derek, always thoughtful and timely.

Very interesting concept and it's amazing how different people find their own solutions to get things done.

So ... will you help me build a time machine ? it'll only take an hour or so...

Well I agree you cannot split yourself in two to help him and her or in three to do things for yourself as well.
I also had trouble saying no to people still do sometimes but due to my accident I just have to say no to a lot of things because I would not be able to do them anymore

Great read, and reminder, Derek! Thanks for always inspiring!

Just went through this over the past 2 months. At this point, during the day, my phone goes into airplane mode for extended periods of time, I am not logged into any social, no chat, etc.

I've created more, my publisher has me on a new project, and I developed phase 1 of a new software project. Plus, my software developing consulting has generated more than twice as much money in 1 month than I did the 3 months prior.

I tell people the reason is I say "NO" to every request. I can go back later and re-evaluate but it gives me a breather and time to truly assess my availability.

Do you know the poem by W B Yeats titled "The Choice"? It looks insightful at this topic.

I understand just how easy it is to want to please everyone around you and just how difficult and painful the word NO is to those people who want or need something from you.
I didn't fully understand how to make it all work for me until that day in early February, 2009 when I suffered not one, not two but three heart attacks that almost killed me. If not for my hobby of bicycling, I wouldn't be here today typing this email to you.
From that point on, I realized that I had to come first and in order to accomplish the things I wanted out of the remainder of my life, I had to live life on my terms to accomplish all that I wanted to do in the short amount of time I had left. This included returning to playing my horn at the professional level I had once done, and getting my old band back together.
It took me three years to learn how to play the trombone again, but I did it and have since recorded 3 CD's worth of music, and I managed to take a meeting with all eight of my former band mates this past April and we are currently working on recording a new album and preparing to go back out and perform again next Spring or Summer.
This is all because I put myself first and decided that the time I have left is far to short to waste.

What a generous share. I'd always felt you were so on the mark that everything you were drawn to was manifested with great integrity and dispatch. I'm happy to see how human you are - as well as magnificently brilliant and courageous. Thank you for your insights over the past years. I'm very grateful.

i agree with you Derek if you've got a dream or goal you have got to be ruthless if you want to achieve it even if it doesn't mean a lot to anyone else but means a lot to you and in the modern world with so much going on it isn't easy

Actually VERY helpful advice.Thank you for being so bravely experimental with your life and for sharing it with others!

I really can relate....

Derek... Thank you!
You continue to be an inspiration to myself and so many
Focus! That is the answer
I a world of instant gratification, challenge and multitasking we owe it to ourselves to focus.
Live your dreams!
d

If one has an ability (I won't even say Talent) -one has a responsibility to it.
And the principal responsibility is to give it room to express itself and, one hopes, thrive. Good for you for recognizing this. Myself, I've given up (almost) all things extraneous to writing; and feel a deep satisfaction as the pages mount up.
John

Nice article Derek. Yes you have to say no at times. I gotta say I had to say no to lots of other things that were thrown at me to continue to be a creative person. The old get a real job thing and be like the rest of us. It has been straining at times but it got real easy to say no and it has pissed people off, but when something is pulling you that hard you need to do what you need to do. I told myself as a young person that I would continue on this path no matter what and I gotta say it is a good life. Good luck and see you at the finish!! lol

F*** Yeah!

Brilliant!...and superbly timely in my life.
Thank you from the bottom of my creative soul, Derek!
You're the best!!!

I can relate to this. I share a similar history. I'm 66 now, successful life , family, in business and now, my art. Although we may not be clinically bipolar, we probably experience some of the effects ....we get so pumped up about and idea and then another. I've left a lot unfinished or un-started and today, I have to fight to keep my head in the joy of what I've accomplished and what I have, instead of fighting to be still relevant. Know what I mean?
I'm so afraid of not being relevant.

Amazing and necessary! But,hard to accomplish at times.

The worst is getting side-tracked helping others which is a part of success but, knowing when to say NO is the challenge.

This is truly a good morning spark for the good ol' brain.

Thanks for sharing Derek

No: The most important word in the English language...our inculcation to "no" longer use it explains a great deal. How and why the West is in a state of accelerating decline remains an important story, no doubt. You may enjoy this new book about a long-neglected bit of American history: The Frankfurt School. Keep up the good work, Derek.

http://canadafreepress.com/article/75066

http://www.amazon.com/The-Devils-Pleasure-Palace-Subversion/dp/159403768X

Hmmmm. Messing with my mind.

Interesting timing in this my friend...
I haven't set out to do the next big thing for me in about 5 years, it's beginning to eat away at me, because I'm bored, and restless, I feel I'm wasting time. However I haven't really decided which direction I want to go at this point. I have lots of dreams, any of which I'm confident I can accomplish (if) I do the work! My problem has been, too many daily distractions to actually be able to decide which way I want deep inside to head toward. I feel somewhat like a caged tiger and it's starting to effect my mood and everything else I do.

Brilliant. I have been a Pressfield fan for many years. His historical military fiction isamazing as are the 3 books you mention no surprise. You have added a succinct, practicalbsummary if what's needed to beatvresistance. Thanks, this was just what I needed today.

I can relate in a way. Always very productive. Created 18 CDs of music and then got married. Haven't created a CD since. What do I do?

Derek,

Thanks for writing this.

For decades I've put pressure on myself , to have "something happen" with my music.Those goals have been moving targets for way too long.

When I've hit a bulls eye or two, it wasn't enough. To my mind,the stuffed animals it got me were no more that.

It's taken decades to understand that distractions and excuses and their effect on my creativity, are of my own doing.

Learning that "small victories" are enough has changed all that.

I've learned that I am where I am, because of choices,distractions and our own abilities. We are all where we are in the songwriting food chain. for a multitude of reasons.

A friend of mine, Mike Pearrell, has a great line in his song "October Sky" which has become sort of a mantra for me. "Moving on with no resistance, I'll take this October sky."

Saying "No" means saying "Yes" to something much greater.

Dear Derek,
As the Universe would have it, I went to "do" something else, and saw this post in my mailbox. LOL On my Birthday a few days ago, I resolved to get that book done this year. So this week, its been obvious that I have to get a few things in place to allow me to do so. I've been saying "No" for a while now, however, being a public person, a Mom, Senior caregiver,and a healer of sorts, its impossible to say "No" to everything. So I'm working on balance instead and embracing the other work that I sometimes allow to over run my schedule, and while embracing and controlling
" it", I'm going to draw the line and create space and time for the book to be created. Finding a reliable aide/housekeeper is also on my list as well.
Best wishes on your endeavors and Thank You for sharing! It helps all of us to hear others stories and solutions to our common challenges.

Absolutely. Technology in particular is a huge distraction for me and always has been which is probably why I'm more productive when I get new gear. I have published three CD's and two singles but despite creating new music weekly, my archives are full of unfinished tracks, and my last single was released almost three years ago. Time to lock myself in the dungeon and get together a new CD Baby release. ;-)

Derek, you are an explorer. The first time I met you I knew. "This is a guy who knows how to get to places no one ever goes." It's true of your work with musicians. You teach people to get out of their own way and virtually go places they have never gone before in their art. You are a blessing to this world Derek Sivers. It's a better place for having you in it. Before I met you I was a musician who always wanted to play music for a living but was afraid to walk away from a steady day job (Advertising sales Chicago Tribune L.A. office). I had always wanted to make recordings but had always had some excuse why not. Usually I would blame someone else." If it wasn't for them, I could have been a great musician!"
After learning about you and about how to produce and sell music from you, I have appeared on a number of CDs and have a robust live performance schedule.
Thanks truly for showing me the way. You have, without seeing it, had very positive effect on my life.
I am a 63 year old whorehouse piano player and I'm having more fun than any time in my life. If it weren't for this wonderful independent music business I would be scraping by on social security.

Thank you so very much for the wonderful gift of freedom
Tadg Galleran

Even White Boys Get the Blues
The Merchants of Venice
Shoe Suede Blues/Live in L.A./Saved by the blues
Bobby Hurricane Spencer blues band/ Live
Ray Goren / Generation Blues Experience/ Live at Lucy's 51/Private Angel

All of the above are available on CDbaby.com

Very good advice and what I needed this morning. I'm trying to finish a book. Some of us don't have the luxury of running away for a year, but fortunately we have a group here in Vancouver on Meetup.com for writers. There are meetups on each day of the week. We meet at a coffee shop and chat for 15 minutes then 'just write' for two hours. It gives us that time away from it all in short bursts that help us focus. Gotta go... heading to my writing group. It's amazing how just two hours three times a week can move a book forward!

Nice to hear you are hidden away in the beautiful Aotearoa - The Maori Name for New Zealand. (My Homeland)
You continue to be an inspiration to myself and Associated Collaborators. Your input of realities and sharing your stories, it reboots our thinking like a detox of the brain, and we all wake up the next morning into a "New Day" and back on track with our journeys in Writing and the music world.

Some like multi tasking, and some just like the ordinary path, but many of us need encouragement and not discouragement when we are in our training and learning steps.

"You Lead and we Follow" Derek :)

oh yes!
Excellent as usually

Funny, I have the opposite problem . I have successfully completed many projects , but once-completed, none of them have been successful.

“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”
― Warren Buffett

Wow. I've been trying put out a country/blues AND soul/blues cd(s) forever AND a children's book (my art/story) as well! The first part of this story IS me, i don't have the "luxury" of the second part. Very inspiring, thanks Derek. Be well.

This is how I live my life Derek. When I set my mind to a goal, I tune out everything that is not in line with it; everything else is a distraction and I've learned to wave it out of the way like a gnat, without even looking up. I've only learned this in the past 3 or 4 years, but it works and is addictive in a good way when you see the results of your focus. Thanks for the reminder. I love your articles.

This happens to a many people with multiple talents. This even happen to me. Not being decisive, or procrastination, or fear. But, I do believe you have pointed out something that is very helpful which ultimately is to focus on our project and nothing else.

Awesome article Derek. Pressfield's book are essential reading. I definitely agree with your point that we need to say no to somethings to say yes to what's important.

excellent stuff as always Derek (and as always, very timely). Thanks!!

This reminds me of one of my favorite concepts from Steven Covey's "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" ---- the enemy of the best is the very good. It's so easy to let yourself get distracted with work that's easier or seems to have a quicker payoff when it's ALMOST in line with you goal.

I received "The War on Art" as a birthday gift from my sister in 2014, just after our mom passed. The wake up call was clear, but I've had wake up calls before. I hit the "snooze" button most of my life. I produce. I write everyday. I write when I travel, I write here in NYC. I am an author, yet unlike Pressfield, I have yet to publish anything of significance. Unless you count my blog. Most people don't. I have found my "no". I am only writing now.

Great stuff! Very timely post for me! Best wishes on your continued successes.

Derek,
You have no idea how much I needed to hear this. My girlfriend, Jessica Lynne and I are both artists...give back, mentor, perform, etc...work our asses off and have barely two nickels to rub together. One of the biggest problems is being asked to do so many things and the ability to say NO, NO, NO. Your email hit at the right time...thank you my brother!

I loved this. You're absolutely right on about how our culture has adopted the "say yes" to everything mantra, but has lost the power and self preservation that comes with saying no.

This hit me at the perfect time. I am staring down this fork in the road today. Funny enough, I was talking about Muckwork last weekend. HA!
Thank you man, have a great day, (and never say "No" to that)

The article is a great reminder about time . I know several musicians who are great performers, skilled and season veterans at playing there instruments but when asked if they have music out or CDs for sales the answer is no. Why because they are following the money and gigging on Other band projects. Not a bad thing if that's what you want out of life. It happens at all levels of the music business .

Nathan East considered one of top the Basist in the world is a great example of this . He played on several Mega stars projects. Long before he ever put a CD out. I am sure it crossed his mind to write songs and release a CD.
This article so rings a tune in my head that I have to finish my next Cd project. Of course I have been saying this to myself , I am going to finish it and it's been over four months now. And it's still not finished. As I look at my life and my time. I find that others are asking for a great deal of my time . And it's okay. However when it's time to focus on me and for fill my dreams ,hopes and expirations .
Saying no ,or I can't help you at this time ain't bad thing. Just remember if you don't do what believe you should be doing . You are holding up your own success . And you just might get, Grammy or your book might be on the top 10 lists of books to read.
If you finish your projects it will help you find better direction, For your next project. you will be in the game if sports is your thing. Calling the plays directing the offense and commanding the
defense. Instead of knowing all the others players and their teams . You will be on the field .and not on the side lines . experience is the key . I did things differently from putting out the first CD to the second and etc .I have four CDs out and will finish the fifth one by the end of Oct . 2015 The article is a great reminder to focus on you . Thanks Derek ...

Inspirational, as always, Derek. Since CDB days. Thanks.
Best,
Lanny

Wow, this article is perfect for me (we must have a lot in common). I actually ordered the War of Art and started reading, until I lost or lent it out! I've done the same as you, "announcing" loudly in articles, websites, emails, the I'm "working on a new CD" which is still in my head and nowhere near getting recorded, in hopes of actually doing so, and I've even organized Songwriting workshops at my studio and started a FB page about songwriting hoping to push me in that direction!
So I love your ideas about saying no, or becoming a hermit..... but for parents it's not so easy, as you're finding out! Anyway, thanks for your emails, Derek, best wishes on your journey!

So true, and so scary! Every minute I spend doing one thing, is a minute I do not spend doing something else.

That's my dilemma. I say yes to everything as I hate letting people down. Hence I work - multi task - to the point of idiocy. Problem is m good and get things done. For others. I've traveled to 110 countries so I'm not sitting in front of a TV or computer all day. But my brain is tired. And I still haven't finished MY novel.
I've self analyzed. It gave from getting in trouble as a kid - about 7 yrs old - for panicking and saying no to a director who wanted to use me in a film with Richard Widmark. I panicked because there were two boys who were there, one of which would get dropped. They were brothers and they threatened to beat me up so I started to cry. The director gave up and said I was a "problem". I started in film at 6 months old. My mother was furious. She never got over it. So after that, I always said yes.
More info than you wanted.

I was wondering what happened to Muckwork. I still think it's a good idea. Hmmm. Maybe I should steal it... No, I have my own project I've been putting off and putting off. ☺ Good post!

Thanks for sharing your process. It encourages me to stick to my mantra: Every step of the way, ask: Does this match my objective?
That's how I finished my first book in June and actually pushed the publish button on Amazon Kindle. Now I'm on the second book. Thanks for reminding me of what it takes.

Yes! Yes! Yes! Perfect. I figure all of us struggle with this saying "no" thing in one way or another.

Having too many irons in the fire is bad. Having several can be, depending on the person, good.

Someone once told me think of Tarzan swinging through the trees - he has to make damn sure he has a grip on the next vine before he lets go of the first.

I'm slowly migrating from one vine to another ... its hard. Double work. But I see where I am going. FilmYourWhy.com

Finally my own passion project!

Your posts are forever spot-on, Derek. I'm going through this same struggle working on an album that's three years in the making. Thanks for this.

Theres a book entitled "The Power Of A Positive No" about that.
All the best Derek! : )

Sometimes "No" is actually the kindest thing we can say to someone. Sometimes they actually need to find another way.
Right now I'm focused on www.sherockstheplanet.tv & My 95 year old Mother with Dementia just passed. I took care of her for 8 years. I am finding it easier to say No, as I have a lot to do & no family to help. It is good to know when & what to say No too & when & what to say Yes. Listening to my own intuition & not second guessing myself is what I am learning.

Derek,
We met at the Folk Alliance in the wayback machine (CD Baby et al) and swapped a few notes over the years. I read Pressfield's book a while back and liked his personification of "resistance." Helpful to identify the bad guy.

I'd only add to you missive here a book that my mother-in-law had on the coffee table, that I only needed to read the title of to take the point to the races. Title was, "I Feel Guilty When I Say No." Add that one to the mantra list. Stay well....Michael Miles

I've read the getting pro book too, and much like your book, Anything You Want, gave me new energy to push forward!

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Very timely. I needed that right now. As always...thank you, Derek!

Big Fan! Love this! Thank you!

The yes is best
when it reflects a pull
The no is best
when it includes a yes
Tell the no-getting
All they reasons they are still a yes
In your life and thoughts
That they will never become
On of the nots

Perfect! Thanks! Indeed, the pain of not producing....brilliant, just say No.

perfect timing for me. I'm coming to the same realization and your blog just reinforces my inner voice that suggests I take myself out of my routines and focus on the ONE THING that keeps calling to me. Thanks for the inspiration. It's a little like the Buddha sitting under the Bodhi Tree....Taking a stand (or a sit! :)) Thanks!

Excellent recommendation.

I have personally been struggling with this over the past couple of years, trying to finish my third album of Relaxing Electronic music that I have been working on since 2005 (!!!). Distractions are mostly all positive with Kids, normal work day, a side business that took off further than I could imagine, but my creativity has been supressed. When I am in front of a keyboard or synth though, it all comes out and is fantastic. I need to channel this to finish my album (and start the next one!)

Haha!~Well yeah... I know how this sounds, but I DO love working too!
However, as much as I love Jimi Hendrix's music, and as big a fan I remain, (I saw him four times and got to meet him) I wonder if HE would have, in last seconds of his life wished that he could have lived differently?
Perhaps my music will have some profound effect in 100 years... I think that it might, but I don't intend to leave this world with many regrets..
Best wishes, and sincere appreciation for all you share!

Prescient. Thanks Derek!
Now to discover what my one thing is going to be...

hey Derek,

Thanks for yet another great post.
You are really consequent in this? I admire you!
Hope I'll eventually arrive at the same or similar place in life.
As an professional interaction designer at one of THE largest software companies I struggle with not being able to follow my passion to be a musician just because the treadmill is ..well ... a treadmill.
Thanks, keep it up!

best m.

Agree 100%! Resistance is a bitch.

Love the Pressfield books. I got an audio version of Turning Pro while I was working on my last book and kept it playing for months in my car while I was writing it.

Good reminder.. always liked your songs btw.. Kiss me here...took a while for bruno mars/ ronson to catch on

Seems the difference between successful and unsuccessful is someone else's opinion. Selfishly, I prefer to please myself.....but I will share my music.

Yes is a wonderful word. No can be even better. My problem is that saying No to the things I want to say No to, and Yes to the things I want to say Yes to are not my decision alone. In a world of mandatory payments for the most simplest of things (I mean, we have to pay for water for Gawd sakes!!), the decision to say No and Yes are a little more complicated for me. But I always enjoy your articles, Derek!!

Thanks, Derek. But what was the outcome? Did the strategy work for you? Can you give a sneak peek at Derek's Next Big Thing? ;-)

Boy, did I like this one! It hit the nail on the head, too! Another real boost to staying on point and being productive, believe it or not, is getting good sleep in before midnight. That's what the researchers have been telling us for years AND guess what, it's sure working for me. I now get up early and finish my morning exercise and meditation routine which wonderfully prepares me to "do the work". Saying NO and getting enough sleep, BEFORE midnight: good combination!

Absolutely delicious and necessary. I was wondering what was happening with Muckwork-now I understand. Its a lone wolf life, for many creative people. But you got to love howling, and you do. Me too. ☺ keep up the great work. There is one life and limited time. I understand this concept and have fought the good fight of fighting the resistance. Miss Kristin

Me too. No more sales. NO more distractions, just my music, production and my magazine. Peace at Last Derek.

So, are you saying that New Zealand isn't as full of interesting people and things? Hahaha. Just kidding, Derek.

This is another brilliant lifestyle snapshot. I had the thought reading it that if you have no other source of media in your life except that which you produce (writing a book, filming a movie, painting a picture, etc.), you will entertain yourself by creating. Maybe not a masterpiece, but good enough. After all, how many masterpieces do you find on tv, or on social media, or in email (present company excluded)? you are likely to produce something superior to most of the drivel out there.

Tomorrow, I am going to turn off the Internet and all distractions and get some shite done.

Thanks again!

What do you think was on my mind, Derek before I turned on the computer and checked my EMail this morning? You got it. How am I going to finish my book that I have procrastinated about for three years, having received half of the money up front to do it in the first place. I am very thankful for your new article. The timing could not have been better.

Thanks for your article. I have a difficult time with people who have great big ideas, but they need me to make them happen (I am a pianist/accompanist with composing and arranging capacities). I haven't learned that I'm allowed to say no. And meanwhile my own "great big ideas", which I pursue by myself, are put on the back burner. Anyway, it's up to me to sort this out, but thanks for your article.

Wrestling with inner and outer demons.... I love my job and have been doing it for the last several years and thru this work I found a niche that is needed in our community..... I work only part time so in my spare time I have been doing my community interests as well.... My soul is so filled up by the companioning I do on the side and for no financial gain......
I'm close to retirement and feeling a pull away from the job ( difficulty with other staff is also a stinging sensation I have learned to feel less satisfied with organinzational structures ) I so love to do the job that will do more for my soul.... I feel so pulled and torn.... I also have a book or two in me and have sent out a manuscript many years ago and was regretfully denied any publisher interest... So it's in a box somewhere......
Leaving for some secluded area is not possible as I am a grandma!!!
Perhaps my just writing this note to you will help me to say NO MORE! 😎😓

Hi Derek. So you're getting some psychological space in NZ? Great! I recall a line from a movie, not sure of the title, "No matter where you go, there you are." Meaning, of course, we always carry our self with us. So if one if prone to distraction, getting away from it all only proves to be a temporary fix.

Yes, changing physical location can be great for creativity. When I write (now on my fourth and hopefully last book in a series), matching the scene with the locale and allowing the smells, sights, sounds and energy to bleed into the work adds an unexpected dimension.

So in my world, with family and numerous obligations constantly pinging me, I developed a sensory cocoon that rejects it all...along with a red light on my office door similar to the red light on movie stages...nothing goes in or out. Tuning out a distracting environment can also sharpen internal focus, like writing while riding a NYC subway during rush hour.

Speaking of red lights, the process of shooting and finishing my film, "Painted Dreams", was a real undercover operation. But unlike writing, film pulls in the entire environment and keeping out the unwanted elements (family, noise, etc) proved a challenge.

I'd love to disappear for a year but have found a workable alternative...for now.

Best wishes.

Derek! I've missed your posts. I'm always excited when I see your name in my inbox. It took me a while to learn to say no, because I had the philosophy to say yes to everything. Your post "yes, or hell no" has had a big influence on my life. Whenever people ask me about forks in their road, and I sense a lack of excitement, I quote that title. Following that philosophy has led me into a beautiful part of my own life where I said yes to my dream, which is to play banjo and travel all over the world. So, I created Banjo Earth; a project where I travel to different countries throughout the world, collaborating with the folk bands/musicians in each country, and creating an album and film of each. The first journey to China was funded through Kickstarter and I leave for Beijing in 6 days! Saying no to everything else, and yes to my biggest dream has led me to this point. Thank you for all you do! Much Love, Andy

Just yesterday I was talking with a friend about the very same thing, how after having experienced musical burnout, I learned to limit how much I'm willing to take on. If you're only pouring out all the time, you wind up emptied of the inspiration and strength that is needed to make quality work.

HELL YES OR NO is a philosophy I have integrated into my life and works for me individually, but I find it is a challenge when working in a group or team, when others do not adopt it as well.

For example, I am always trying to convince my bandmates in my several bands to not take every crappy low paying bar gig that we are offered, but focus on quality vs. quantity. It's tough because they love to perform. But the hassles are not worth it, all the gear hauling, running our own sounds, dick bar owners and bartenders, low turnout or apathetic crowds there for a different reason.

Finally, one of my bands, HIATVS (www.hiatusrocknroll.com), decided to adopt this philosophy, or a corollary of it we call "no more sh!tty bar gigs."). We focus on alternative venues, primarily house concerts. We run crowd funding campaigns to raise the money, which funds food and drink for guests and gives us money and head count up front. plus it is in a private residence, usually, so all the negatives of music venues are largely avoided. there's parking, free refreshments, good music at a decent volume, and everyone who is there WANTS to be there. It has been a splendid model. The only downside is HIATVS is, as the name suggests, always on hiatus, due to band member geography. So we only play 3--4 times per year. But it is always QUALITY, without the quantity.

I rambled. Sorry.

As a songwriter & producer, & in my former life as a small roofing, siding, window company owner, I am well familiar with never having enough time for "my own thing." I'm also well familiar with life and distractions (like your e mail) getting in the way. I'm also some one who has to work to pay for my own projects.

As a human, I find it hard to ignore friends requests for advice, help, etc. And I also realize that i need other people to complete my projects. Of course, they get paid. But, where would I be without them? What about all the people who could say no, i have my own thing? Sometimes they do. Sometimes everyone does. But to say i no, i have my own thing all the time- unless you are untouchable, i.e. sought after cause you've been highly successful- you will be very lonely later on.

Friends, family.... how do you say flat out no?

Hi Derek.
Loved your new article, but let's not forget that some of us who are fortunate enough to live a creative lifestyle can't say no to everything. We can't say no to our
kids when they need our attention. We can't say no to our spouses when they need our affection. We can't say no to our students when they need our direction.
That being said though, I agree that when
I pick up my guitar, I pretty much say no to everything else for as long as I can.
Thanks for your insights.

I find myself saying 'yes' to many options, for the purpose of 'keeping my options open'. It has resulted in me being very employable; a 'jack of all trades' and 'master of none'.

I'm sure I could really master any one field if I spent the required 10,000 hours in it; but with a family to support, 'employability' becomes the deciding factor, rather than 'potential awesomeness'.

From a personal & professional standpoint, I'd rather be a superstar in one area; but my estimation is that the path to super-stardom often doesn't pay the bills & feed the kids.

WORD.

Yes. No. Maybe. or. Maybe Not.
Why Not?

Hardcore dedication is the point here, isn't it? To those who here in the comments describe the lock-yourself-away-for-a-year as a "luxury some of us don't have"-- I must take the strong approach that you are missing the full impact of this method. And of the central main point here.

We have what I am calling a "backstage" illusion in the human psyche, like we are or can be divided, "I got a family and job etcetera" okay: that was a choice, or at least, it is what it is. Hardcore dedication should not be looked upon by others who only dip their toe in the water yet desire a plunge as a "luxury." In fact, that's belittling. I suggest that true creative vision and follow-through are beyond either luxury or hard work: when the universe and you collaborate, transcendence occurs. I think, "no excuses" might sum up my sentiment here. Why did you buy into societal norms and then whine that you want to be "creative"?

Also, most people, and musicians I am looking at you (us), truly need to stay out of their head more of the time, descend into their balls and ovaries and gut -- put on some Danzig or Sabbath or Etta James -- and present our current mentally unbalanced society with something REAL. Something true to your deepest, darkest, most illuminated, unfathomably powerful heart.

We all say "no" to a myriad of things daily, but for those whose creative energy remains goal directed it's not really "no" but rather "maybe" which becomes either "no" quickly, or "no, now". Unless the thing is something to which we are personally dimetrically opposed. Then those are likely to be a truer or immediate "no".

It's about the decision process. An opportunity comes up and that's a "maybe". The next step is evaluation of where the opp sits with with who we are and where we think we're going. How good a match it is to this determines whether "maybe" remains or becomes "maybe not" - which almost invariably becomes a "no". The crux is that short-lived maybe's turn into solid "nos". Longer lived "maybes" turn into "no, nows" which populate the proverbial back-burner of our mind. Yes, these "no, nows" form the hardened "cake" of our life experiences.

I really understand.

Best,
Roger

Awesome read Derek. I need to adhere to this advice more.

Edward

This is such an important topic, and crucial for creatives, who are all about making, breaking, changing, editing, and not finishing.

I would make one devil's advocate point. Sometimes it's GREAT not to finish. Because it pushes you to a new thing that might be much MORE important to you, and to the world. The critical thing is that when you find the thing that matches your soul mission, your creativity, your background and expertise, and feels like you "have" to do it, you single-focus and don't let up until it's done. And if you have a loose project partially started, take the time to go back and purge it, delete it, and completely let it go.

So in that vein, a strongly endorse the "Hell, yeah!" or "NO." model. Clarity. Focus. Self-preservation. No loose intellectual property flapping in the wind. No self-punishment. No loss of credibility. No regrets.

Thanks for continuing to provoke thought and change, Derek.

Great piece, I don't have the luxury of locking myself away for a year but I've got some simple ways I can implement more productive seclusion in my life. I needed to read this, thank you.

It's about being a pro. We're here to create first, period. Thanks for the reminder and the great article. Those were pivotal books for me.

I love reading your articles to learn what you are living through... Obviously, what's between the lines is open to interpretation.

Some people will read new words on a screen and then decide they simply MUST adhere to this new habit, principle or philosophy.

I remember one article you wrote about not revealing dreams. I'm not sure why you thought that at the time, I remember feeling like talking about a dream publicly was a kind of Do or Die thing.

I don't think any of us make the same exact decisions all the time. Some days I want to say no to everything else, some days I want to say yes to everything.

I have no idea what anyone else should choose for themselves.

Thank you for always helping me wonder...

My longing is to say no... To my day job, to my own demonic distractions. Especially tho to my job, which is sufficiently distracting as to stop all other progress. Yet if I quit, I then have to follow multiple other streams of income that can be just as distracting while I build my business to s place where it makes enough money. (Enough = living expenses and business expenses. Not extravagance) And I'm getting older, quick. I agree with you, and the longing is ridiculous... But the timing of the leap is further and further away....

May Heaven bring to completion the work of your hands--and may the work of your hands bring to completion the work God intends for you.

I just watched Steven with Oprah on Super Soul Sunday. I applaud you for your focus and strength. Resistance is so powerful. Remember it is present, the shadow of our creative endeavors. Stay in the light! I'm in the middle of recording my 6th cd, so I'm with you brother! keep it up. You rock Derek. I do hope we meet some day. Mary Verdi

Easing into the mindset is a trap. I've been trying to get there slowly for years by saying no more often and stripping off the layers of things I've gotten myself into over the years by saying yes. But the idea of getting there in steps is self-defeating. You can imagine it... being more selective with the Yes still leaves me in overload mode, but now the guilt is worse. I cherry-picked the prime ideas and now I'm not getting them done either.

Soooo.....good ! Yeah, I enjoyed your mini treatise on "saying no". Which impels me to relate a recent occurrence where I said NO , without hesitation . Yep! I was having a burger at Mac Ds for a quick bite, when this elderly lady set right down by me and commenced visiting. She was extremely interesting, pulled out a tablet and went to work typing while talking at the same time . All went well, for a bit, then from out of the blue , she looked me square in the face, and said "would you like a roommate", and you guessed it Derek, I said "..".

If saying no is the way to accomplish that special task I say go for it. Will try this myself.lol

Man, I needed to hear that!

I envy you the financial freedom to be able to just up and move to New Zealand. The greatest challenge, though, is to figure out both what you want to be doing (in my case, writing) AND do it where you're at, without dumping all your other obligations down the toilet.

That said, I'm glad my writing goals don't necessarily include the title "Novelist." I've discovered (to my horror) that fiction writing is the hardest of all the writing forms, with writing from a Third Person Point of View the hardest of the hard. I've reached my first goal: writing a short story that someone was actually willing to pay me money for (the definition of "professional"). The next goal is to write (at minimum) a short story in a universe of my own creation so that I can finally call myself a "professional science fiction writer" with a straight face as opposed to my current snicker.

I'm sorry to hear that Muckwork fell by the wayside. It sounded (to me) as if there was a viable niche market for such a thing out there.

At some point you'll find a way to bring all your experience to bear in a way that feels right to you.

In the meantime, my best wishes go with you.

Jackie

Heh heh, perfect timing as ever! Thank you Derek, hope you're thriving.

Nice! yet I feel it is not about saying "no", it is more about saying "yes".
Saying "yes" to your passion, your love, to what is most meaningful to you, to what is the most important contribution you could give, to your deepest values and beliefs...

When you are so focused on and involved with your "yes", then there is no need for the "no". Because in that state of "yes", you are in the flow, flowing with inspiration, creative energy and unlimited potential. Your body, mind and spirit are in harmony to bring what you are meant to bring to life... in that state, there is only "yes", the "no" will disappear...

I am learning too, thanks for being an electronic acquaintance with mentor qualities. Saying no if you are a Christian as I am seems like giving up on a person stating their needs (makes one co-dependent), but saying yes to everyone all the time is, in effect, saying no to my goals, dreams and vision. I struggle with this. Bless you for sharing.

I have ten songs waiting to be recorded, and I just don't get to them because of the reasons you describe. I need to say "No." Thank you!

Quite a story... and sadly i have to admit i am guilty... it is so easy for us to find any excuse to stagnate on something and stall on what is obviously your destiny...

It's like you picked that up about me and now i can't help but believe that my insignificance in this great big universe might be so insignificant after all...

Thank you yet again Derek... as though you were sent you reach right inside and pull yet again at my dreams and desires for reawakening.

thank you. truly. thank you.

Well, you still want to know what others think about your choice-;) what does it tell you? It tells me you are not 100% sure this is the right choice for you. You might need people's feedback and interaction to be productive-;)

Is it better to be a yes man or a no man, depending what is asked of you I guess. Saying no to everything means little chance to success or failure, saying yes to everything leaves you wide open to both success and failure. Man is meant to try or die wondering why he didn't. If you try and fail, at least you will know you tried, if you don't try you have failed already and left wondering "what if".

I explain to my students "If you want to be a serious creative artist you have to make decisions everyday on how to use your time and make it productive. It's all about that ugly word, discipline and saying "No thank you" to most interruptions. (Selfish? Yes!) Everyday is like a brush stroke on a painting." / Creativity is an accumulation of knowledge, imagination and intuition attached to a work ethic and commitment. (A need to express...) /Any serious artist knows this.

And now for an alternative view. Come back Larry!!! Read the Razor's Edge. You did something very successful and remarkable. You got out and it paid off big time and you lived to tell the tale. But you didn't. You fell off a cliff. There are those who believe that it is necessary to retreat to the mountain -- if that works for you...grand. But Larry (Razor's Edge) eventually goes to New York to drive a cab. To be in the "middle of it." You are a musician - from Berklee - come get into the middle of it again. I promise the lights will go on, the gyros will kick in, and the juices will flow. Just my opinion. I am a professor teaching music business, I am a touring musician with 16 albums out, I have survived five years since being diagnosed with Leukemia (AML-M4 - it's a monster, almost killed me) - and I am about to turn 63 - and I have never been more creative, engaged and excited to wake up everyday in finish the next project on my list. So I would say leave the mountain Larry...come back Luke ... or just get off your ass and get back in the game. Said with love and respect and caring from a true fan and benefactor of your earlier work (CD Baby). Chris Daniels www.chrisdaniels.com

It is fascinating what I've learned by reading what others have written in response to your thoughts, Derek. I've learned to be more like Tarzan when swinging through the jungle of life by not letting go of one branch before I grab the next one. This is good! I have also learned not to audition for Broadway if there are two brothers there also vying for the job that might want to beat me up. Lastly, I have found a way to procrastinate even more by reading everyone else's comments! I am truly indebted to all of you!

Timely for what i've been talking to my partner about in terms of having too many people in my life who are too casual. I have jams at my place every saturday night and anyone(almost) can show up and take up space(musical) in my physical space. I realize now that i do have to say no and limit who i want to be there for my own sanity and direction i want to take my music with my friends. Thanks for your insight as always. keep em comin.

No. Thank you Derek.

I've read "The War of Art" and "Do the Work" and it is good to be reminded of the resistance. I am overcoming the resistance (and fear) right now. Time to focus. Time to do the work. Time to say no. Thank you for continuing to share!

We all struggle to allocate our time. Let's face it, we all have the same 24 hours each day! An action is an appointment you make with yourself. I guess some appointments are longer than others.
Best
Ian

Derek,
Great article and I have been saying myself for years that I am writing my book. Always get distracted, something always comes up. Reading this article has convinced me that the time had come to move into my cabin, even if it's a cabin in the mind.
Wishing you the best & thanks for sending me the article!
Charles

I would comment, but I really need to focus... ;-)

Derek, you know, your'e a real friend. I am actually crying right now, because I am at a crossroads today. I am doing "good" in a job but a job that makes me sad, and takes away all my energy for what I need to do in my heart, the music and the art. I was thinking today about "flying" taking the leap of faith. I have heard it and felt like I was being so diligent, trying so hard to make it all "work". But I can't.
So, actually, you are the first person to know that I am going to move forward and create. It doesn't matter after that. Crazy but crazy if not.
Rach.

HAHA ! I SO get it.

I have a saying that goes like this:

"Don't think of it as me saying no to you - I am saying yes to me"

Go, Derek, Go!

Requests are one thing, but in my case, it's more often demands and manipulation that permeates my life. I'm amazed that I'm able to get anything done at all. I didn't get to the point of playing ten instruments (and I mean actually playing them),

Derek - Thanks for the reminder!

So blasted distracted lately. I keep searching for answers instead of just doing the work. Time to lock myself away - Less inputs - More outputs!

Hi Derek,
I really understand all that frustration.
So many things interfere with getting the main goal completed. I have found setting a serious completion date helps me focus better. Learning to say NO! is great advice as well.
Be blessed!
Katrina

I can relate Derek...I've just finished a music project that was probably the most difficult of my career.
Funny, but I am also an author and have been having similar problems trying to avoid the many distractions that are keeping me from reaching the finish line with my new book.
Stay well my friend, enjoy the South Pacific!
JS

I had to say no in order to complete music cds I wanted to create, come hell or high water. It's the only way.

Are you finishing Muckwork and Songtest now?
No. I'm reading my comments now. ☺ But in a few mintues I'll be back to programming again. You can follow my progress here, if interested. — Derek

It's great to hear that you also struggle with finishing stuff, well, it's not great that you struggle, only great that you share this with us so that we won't feel alone in our struggle. I remember your muckwork idea and looked forward to seeing it come to life. Keep us posted on your projects and thanks for the inspiration.

Hell Yeah. Thank you for reminding me that saying "no" is simple but not easy - especially over a sustained period of time. And yet, today I got a BIG appreciation from someone I'd just said a triple NO to. Why? Because it helped them to decide what their priority was and whether they were willing to say a YES to that, rather than dump it in my lap to come up with something. Love how counter-intuition works

Hey Derek
Thanks for this. I'm doing this right now so it helps me have patience and stamina... And not feel like a total freak.
Cheers!

It makes total sense to me...you took massive action, focused on your goal and temporarily shut out all distractions(is that the right word?
Hell yeah!

Just yesterday I said to the universe, "Universe, please show me a way out of my terrible procrastination!" I have been experiencing Steven Pressfield's assistance today, via you, Derek. I downloaded the audio version of his book Do the Work and have listened to the first 4 chapters. Seems to be exactly what I need to hear at this time in my life. While I can't afford a year in a remote cabin, I can lock myself in my office and tell everyone I am busy for significant chunks of time. This is a great luxury and yet I have been resistant to take advantage of it. I thank you so much for this entry today. Love & Peace, Laurie

When I was younger and going to school I played music every where to make money for school. Now I turn down money jobs and only perform at no cost, for non profit organizations that help folks that need help. Now that's a lot of yes and no discussions with folks.

No is thine shield.

I thought the best way to get my PhD written would be to put myself in isolation. It wasn't. I got my best ideas once I started lecturing full-time and had intellectual stimulation that was completely unrelated to my topic. But a mental workload is not a good long-term strategy. These days I strike a balance between keeping a low profile and throwing myself into the mix when I need a boost.

We have been raised on guilt. Saying no is deemed selfish. And so we say yes all the time and consequently never get done what we really wish we had.

Derek, I read this article and at the same time I'm in the situation ready to lock up for a year to work on music. I had cosidered contacting you, just to get an opinion. on that. Also, I wonder what you think of cdbay now. It has become unhinged. Anyway, it is the tenth anniversary now of an album I released on cdbaby.

In 2005. Pekoe, Year of the Rooster. I have some opportunities to play and do some radio.

I have a day job, and have frustration that I am not involved in music. I'm 43 now, should I do a restart? A restart across the board and focus on music? I read the book you mentioned in another post, So Good They Can't Help But Notice. Any overall advice? I understand you will say no to a conversation, but what the heck!

Definitely needed this...thank you

i lived in new zealand for a year a long time agon. there's a secret cave perched into the cliffs staring out into the south pacific that if i remember correctly, you can only access from hikuraki bay (head left up the beach towards magnet bay) near christchurch. bring your pad or laptop and food for the day. working there is like channelling "god" directly - probably the reason they don't build churches overlooking the ocean. Thanks for your shit.

PS - if something you may do, it may have been from magnet bay beach, not hikuraki. just head left when you get there.

I enjoyed this so much and feel wonderful about recently telling my boss "no". I am now very curious to see what the mandatory meeting in his office tomorrow morning will be about!! Maybe it is time for a change in scenery from this "office space".

Nice article, Derek. But, didn't this distract from a more important goal. ;)

Best wishes and thanks for writing!

ben

No sex for a year ? Fuck that, I'd rather not write the bloody book !

Perfect timing. Thank you.
Beyond Guitar is a video series that will be kind of a handbook for life. It has been very difficult to create it because I know of nothing else like it. But its first chapter will be done before Halloween. This article by you Derek has been the perfect inspiration.

Yes! You've got to live your life. Life is too sweet a gift to ignore your inner artist. Btw, your hell yes or no video still influences my life choices in a major way. Peace

Reminds me of a old Dick Van Dyke show. He wanted to finish his book so he went to a friends cabin to write. He ended up doing everything but write as the cabin and loneliness became his main source of interest. He did get a very heart felt dedication done after finding out his family and friends were not his distractions, it was just his laziness all along. I'm pretty sure everyone on this earth will die not having accomplished every thing on their bucket list. I would rather be proud of what I did get done then worry about I didn't do while here.

This is an interesting read. It's common that life everyday keeps us away from our dreams.

I've been blessed to finish two books with another two / finished and waiting. After twelve years Amazon has agreed to market 54 poems and songs. Deezer and Xbox have now requested licenses. I've ask people such as Cd baby and spotify to cease and decease.

You will be a success please forgive my passion, but it's been twelve years coming.

Bravo to you for taking a stand for yourself !!! Blessings!

I am battling the same issue all the time. But I can't use your solution for 3 reasons; 1- I can't drop all the in flight projects that I have already started. That would be a betrayal to myself and others that are involved. 2- I don't have the financial freedom to stop those activities that are paying my cost of living. 3- Interesting ideas come to me and they are so cool they deserve attention. Unlike the fine example you mentioned, its not that I have a hard time starting the work on anything, I have a heck of a time finishing them! All and all I think the core message I got from this post is "Focus" which is what I need.

Yes! It is the way to claim your intention, to enact the dream spinning to manifest on the spot. It takes the yes and plays with you, muse as she is, and what comes out is more than you could have predicted.

I love this post, Derek. Thank you. xo
Kate

Hey I'm only #172! ;)
Great article Brother Derek, I too find it's not worth saying YES unless it's a HELL YEAH! So now I've got your attention, I got this one li'l idea . . . . :)
Noisy woild, gotta tune summa it out ;)
Best to u and yours scott

No is the new Yes!!! Good stuff.....
My wife and I's saving grace has been to ask close friends and family what they need help with, not the other way around. We assess their need and how we can best help. It lifts our spirit
serving humanity. But then again, nobody knows us so we aren't bombarded with requests. I can only imagine it being similar to being a powerball winner and all the sudden everybody is your friend. Keep blessing on your terms....love and light.. Ryan

Derek, let me channel my inner Aussie...GOOD ON YA, MATE! Keep throwin' NOs left and right.

"Say no by default"...ever since I read those words in "Rework" as well as your "No yes,... either hell yeah or no", everything I do is so much more meaningful and simple and thus much more valuable to others and to me. Saying no is just marvelous! :)

It's so true how there's so much distraction in modern civilization these days. In the computer-world, we're becoming less inclined to do artistic or creative endeavors.
Looking forward to reading the books you suggested - that is if I don't get distracted. ;)

I just had to send along my song. I wrote it a few years ago, but the message never tires of repetition, thank you Derek.

This song goes out to all who have a hard time saying no. Here's the link:

https://youtu.be/-x28JISpLGU

blessings
Nicola Gordon

Hi Derek,

You have walked the walk!!

Chapeau!!

All the best for your unique venture!!

Fabrice

So serendipitous that this article should show up at a time today - a time when I'm struggling with the same issues as you Derek; Saying "No" to all the un-important distractions, and finally saying (with firm conviction) "Yes" to the really important things that I've put off.

Thanks for being you!

Walt

Right on time...

In the book, "The Power of a Positive No," William Ury shares the idea that every true "no" is a "yes" to something else. In essence, saying "no" is really setting priorities so the "yes" has time and space to be fully explored. I love this idea, as there are always so many possibilities in life -- and part of the challenge (and opportunity) is to decide which ones to devote our energies to. Oops, time to go answer those 10 zillion emails! ☺

"Hell Yeah!" ... lol ... now, have you been able to say no to reading all the comments here ... well, hopefully "Hell No!"

NZ is an amazing place ... being a Dad, also an amazing place ... every place, though, presenting its own challenges ...

PS - "My main act of public service is answering emails from strangers, so feel free to email me." - DS ... thx for answering a couple of those emails Derek ...

Very cool.

Not many can afford a remote hideaway and there are other responsibilities. I agree that persevering and best efforts are keys to realizing the dream.

Good job Man! I hear ya on this one. Back in 2006 I had had it will life in LA. Too many distractions, to many people who were what you'd call "Users". I sold my house, paid off all my debts and bought a small house outright in Mississippi. Since I'm a Blues musician I figured I should go where it started. I was 100 miles away from New Orleans and yet I lived in a rural town. I installed a home studio and started to get down to some songwriting. When I left LA I had 7 songs published. By 2012 I had over 50 published with many songs placed on soundtracks for TV shows. I'm living down in Florida now and still pumping out the songs. Keeping it real and keeping the priorities straight :)
Take Care Man and keep on doin what you do.
Nelsen

I think saying "no" is important not only as living an authentic life, but also for our well being. We often fail to realize the time wealth we possess, and freely dwindle it being all things to all people, and ultimately being "yes"people. But when we do that we miss out on what we really may want to be doing, or the great creation we may be missing by doing everything else. Pressfield had to take extreme measures to reach his goals, I don't think that is necessary for everyone- but I will say that becoming who you want to be, inside and out starts with being able to say no, and knowing where your value is most needed and best implemented.

Good piece. I fully understand. When creating in writing, music or my light show I value my alone time as precious and focus in ways otherwise impossible. Just Say No! Politely but firmly. 😊

Exactly what I need to hear at this moment in time. I have a book I've been "writing" for 5 years and I'm done with the process ~ I want completion! Thank you.

Derek, you will find saying no to energy vampires will be invigorating. You are a self made man. If people need help in getting their ideas started then it probably isnt a good idea to begin with. When you have a good idea you usually have the passion to figure it out yourself. Kudos to you for taking your life back. you are an inspiration to me as i have followed you for some time. If they need help they can read your blogs, plenty of useful nuggets there. D

Hello Derek, I could understand. & I understand the Arthur the way he felt and what he wanted to accomplish with his life. He was fed up with not doing anything. Meaning anything towards the book you wanted to do.
And you yourself for doing things to now, that can make you peaceful and happy and content inside. Me and going back to school doing the same thing finishing up what I wanted to do for years.
SO, I understand, much love Richard

Yeah, Derek that's me! Thank you thank you thank you! I thought a million thanks would be over-the-top.

T

Hell YES! I'm getting more and more clear that "no's" are even more important than "yes's." Without the "no's," the "yes's" have no power. Thanks, Derek!
And, btw, I LOVE New Zealand too. ;-)
Best to you.

Don't check your email first thing in the morning as Tim Ferriss says in his book ;-)

All the best, and as always I love reading your blog posts.

You are so right!about saying no. ...author Julia Cameron teaches the same in her, the artists way"....family and friends often unintentionally play the guilt card. ..but a book or song or painting will never be started workout the big no!!!

Thank you, Derek. You're always an inspiration and provide thought provoking material that helps in working out the important things in life.

I hope things are going well for you.

Dom

Hello Derek
Lovely to hear from you - always an inspiration ... Good to say no to all your distractions. We want what you write, you say it as it is - you keep it simple, what more do we need :)
Lots of love Ax

The best advice, yet, Derek! I just had sent off an email to a guy who demands a lot of time to read and comment on stuff he thinks we should think is important. He never likes or agrees with my feedback and the "conversation" can drag on for days. I just asked him to take me off his email list. Why? So, I can concentrate on composing music for people. You know, no one has ever turned down a piece I have written for them. I may not make much money but I sure enjoy helping people with fresh inspirational music.
Say, "YES!" to your heart's driving force! Say it NOW!

Always on point and on time! Thank you, Derek,

Hey Derek! Being the extremely project oriented person that I tend to be I. can honestly respect and understand your idea here. In life there is good and there is best. I have often heard it is better to aim high and miss than aim low and hit. Aim high friend! God bless!

Great article Derek. It's a shame that our caveman brain really isn't good enough for the modern environment. I like to think I could work no matter the environment, but the environment has too much power over us.

Thank you, Derek. Great timing as I've been chasing ideas and opportunities for a few years now, hesitant (fearful) of going 'All In'. I'm almost there and motivation, like this post, really helps...

Good for you, Derek. You've discovered the power to say "NO". Hats off to you. I remember reading about how life changing it was when Fugazi learned this power- and with it the power to say "Here's your 5 dollars back. Thanks for coming to our show. Now please leave." It made all the difference both to them and their not-so-violent fans. ps, as much as I miss your regular blogposts, I really want you to get Muckwork going. I myself would love to be a client, and I know other people who could greatly benefit from it as well. Get krackin'!
: )

I without a doubt know what you're saying. And I probably talk myself out of things. I say no, no,no to something and then say, " well if I keep saying no, then It wasn't meant for me or wasn't meant to be." So, Maybe we have to be good choosers, or pay more attention to what we choose or let go. And we can do this in our minds- just by going to that quite place which we have set aside for quite and self reflection.

I'm sure lots of people out there have done this: Rent a cheap thatched hut on some tropical island for 3 bucks a day for a month... and create your ass off - keeping time by the movement of the sun and the appearance of stars; and no distractions other than the odd monitor lizard strolling the beach. That was Bottle Beach Thailand for me in April/94... Cheers!

Love it Derek!

I travel a lot for work and I have to admit, I crave the alone time I get to finish projects, have quite time and basically, be unavailable for all the things that I can sometimes feel obligated to do if I'm in my home base town of Los Angeles.

Every time we say no, it's a yes to something else...

Thanks, pal!! I've been a writer for years writing sermons, sunday school curriculum
And youth group activities guides. I knew i had a book in me because I lived through the
60's and met all the local musicians and outlaws of that special time. Everyone kept telling me i should write it down. I finally retired last yeat and moved to Nevada to sit down and 'git 'er done'. Thanks to you I'm hearing what it probably is going to take! Wish me self-sacrifice and good discipline!!
Thanks again,
Nicco

Boy, is this ever on time.. Nuff said.
(Btw, change of email address above)
Thanks
Hoby

Thanks for sharing your interesting article, Derek.

As an entertainer, I try to be a "people pleaser." It's challenging and disappointing to say "no." "Yes" is always the easier and more satisfying reply!

However, I'll keep what you say in mind. Thank you for all you do.

You are absolutely right to say no to everything else. Saying, "Yes" to helping other peoples dream, is saying, "No" to yours.
You have not come to this earth to help others achieve their dreams, but for you to use the gift given to you at birth.
There will be a time when you will be able to say yes to a few choice requests, but most certainly not until you achieve your own.
You are on the right road. Keep at it and good luck.
All the best,
Greta

Great Post Derek. I find it incredibly difficult not to get distracted by all those shiny things around me, but I believe saying no to all but that one thing you need to do is what everyone should do, and it is the difference between those who succeed and those who don't. I also believe that you can find a lot of evidence in hind sight that we give up often times just before success is about ready to land.

Thanks for Posting!

I plan on reading all three of those books!
I suggest watching Sponge Bob's early cartoon on "Procrastination" it's brilliant, funny and well, for even we "grownups"!

Yes to one thing and no to everything else. What a hugely liberating concept. Thanks again Derek! Just in time as usual. Much love ❤️

Self discipline a lot harder to come by when engaged with everyday but sometimes isolation brings less productivity in my experience.

Hey Derek,
Being a yes person, saying no is always a challenge ~ mostly if i say no first then i feel so good about saying yes a few minutes into thought.
It's like saying No takes me some contemplation time but we are expected to know immediately as possible the answer ~ Yes or No ~
So now i think i will answer quickly with both ~ this gives me a minute to develop my case in my own mind ~ and give a definitive answer a bit later.
Getting exact with a specific activity is certainly what is needed in my life ~ so this article hit the nail on the proverbial head for me.
Love You,
Oya

No comment

Thanks Derek, nice piece.

Always been pretty good at saying no. But did go thru a time of saying yes to more things than I should have.

Ha ha ha! I remember you decided to say "Yes" to all requests a few years ago when you moved to Singapore. It was an experiment and you later decided that after a year, that was enough. I looks like you've come back around.

Best of luck. I too am doing what I told you I was going to do four years ago. I'll let you know how it goes.

Cheers

Dear Derek,
I always enjoy your musings...
Since 2011, I haven't written a song I liked well enough to include in my performance repertoire, but in the two years prior, I wrote and recorded over twenty songs, each more profound than the last, so I haven't minded my long hiatus... Should the time come when I do regret my sloth, I would love to live in Singapore for a year, absorbing stimulation from the culture!... My whole adult life, I have longed to visit Singapore, not in a touristy way, but in a becoming part of the ambiance way... If I'm ever physically strong (and financially secure) enough to get myself to the wold's largest city-state, I shall be seeking inside information as to how I might skip over being a tourist and insinuate myself directly into the fabric of daily life!
All the best,
Joanne

Many people do not have the luxury of moving to another country. They have family members that depend on them where they are. But one can still be single-minded and achieve goals by taking daily steps and staying focused. I don't think isolation is for everyone.

Brilliant! I really need to practice this and NOT FEEL BAD. Once again thank you for your inspiration.

Great reading Derek and Welcome to the land of the "Long White Cloud"

Understand, Derek. This is about "focus", discipline, and recognizing "what I need to do, NOW". Which, is beyond most folks in the 7 second attention span age. Thank u, Sam McNally.

Makes sense to me. Way to commit.

It would be fine if you chose to change your life trajectory and become a mentor/adviser rather than a creator, but I can well understand that you need to get back to the type of personal creative, long-term successful venture that made you the person who now is overwhelmed with requests for advice or mentorship. It is similar to a musician touring and interviewing in support of an album, and then needing to get off the road and write the next album. And I can't think of a more beautiful place than New Zealand to choose to make your home. But New Zealand doesn't let ANYONE move there! I have some lovely, brilliant (artist and law professor) wealthy friends who were rejected. So have you married a New Zealander? ☺

So true, Derek.
As always, you keep showing this extraordinary gift to put in words what so many of us experience in life.
Discipline. Focus. Sacrifice. Without such values, creativity alone leads nowhere.
A new attitude can make the difference in one's journey. Really!
Thank you so much for this article!

Eugênio Matos

Makes perfect sense. Thanks for saying yes yo sharing so many of your thoughts and ideas. They often inspire me.

A lot of people have a problem saying 'no.' The problem is that, once you've got the knack, it's so enjoyable saying 'no' that it becomes hard to say 'yes.'

Thank you. Like I need air to breathe is how I needed to read and hear this.

You are right. It's just making up your mind to just get it done.

Very powerful like most of your posts. Reminds me of an article in NYTimes that subtraction is far more difficult than addition .

Timely article, as always. Thanks for sharing the nudge.

Understand only too well....

Any regrets about not taking CD Baby
to the level it is today? Another outfit I have, which I doubt you would remember, are the DUKES of Dixieland. Between the two, I can't get anything done but answer emails, and I moved to St Croix. Didn't work for me. Let me know how it works out for you.

This article could not have come at a better time for me, personally. I have been working in the medical cannabis industry for years, and between politics, money, etc., I'm wondering how much longer I can make it after a decade in this marketplace. Seclusion for personal and professional growth seems like a good solution.

I guess it doesn't matter what you are so intent on doing, as long as you're doing it. My situation is similar. Just got a nice whack of royalties for a 45-year old song, bought a necessary new keyboard, and thought I was ready for the big time. Instead, there are no shows on the horizon, no connections even, and this massive technology to master and make sing. Makes me sit outside at night playing my nylon guitar to great enjoyment. Some days I have to force myself to get up and get groceries. Yet, when I actually sit down and play, and drink wine, I'll admit, and not worry so much about the result, great stuff begins to happen. I am, like you, in a cottage in the suburban woods, and every day could be just like the last if I didn't make sure of keeping track. Most of the best stuff happens when I think about in advance, and when I hit the record button, all kinds of other things happen along with it.
This is getting way off topic. I'm saying no to trying to fit in. Never could and I never did, anyway. You are right to eliminate everything else that does not pertain to your being when you are trying to push out an idea that you are happy with. All kinds of borrowing or outright theft can enter into the picture, but nobody ever had a perfect image of the world that did not include other ideas.
It would be good to take a break every now and then and just socialize, however painful or ridiculous it might seem, just to try to keep an even keel on your emotional life, but the path you describe is not a social one, it is one of a seeker and a special one, so don't worry about it.

Derek,

Great post.

I totally agree that it's vital in this day and age of overstimulation and distraction to say no more often. I think the challenge is if you're in transition and need help from the outside world to find that next opportunity or job. Sometimes you have to force yourself to say yes even if you want to say no since you never know who knows someone or which conversation can lead to a connection or idea.

Different context changes everything, as it often does :).

Thanks,
Karina

I'm experiencing the same thing. It's hard to say "No" to opportunities and ideas that come your way. I often that if I say No, I missed out on potential things that could happen. Thanks for the reminder. I'm dropping things because of this. Focus.

Yes, I think all creative people and especially musicians fall into the path of least resistance and distractions galore.
So it's the good news and the bad news.
For some of us, travel was limited because I only had a precious window to guide my son, be a good example, care for my elderly family, or just settle for "getting by". This is all paid for in time and money. The time is the biggie and try as I may from studying Einstein's formula for time to noticing when time blazed by and when I thought it dragged into long unproductive days, I still couldn't wrap my head around the time thing. More progress was made studying "energy levels" and personal meditation realizing the reality or realities have certainly been made mostly by my mind. So for those seeking an answer to happiness or being the star in completing projects however large know that I observe it being a balancing act. The term suffering for your art comes to mind and of course you can't suffer and be happy at the same time.
Yes, I just completed my 6th CD with a tremendous amount of dedication and withdrawal, but I was fortunate to have a tribe in my circle that let my efforts proceed without much demand. That trust was imperative to me actually balancing happiness and dedication. Unspoken Trust that like a bank account loan would be repaid in due time, or at least the joy of completion shared. So yes, I could be happy alone and jump into any project with the solace that it demands, but yet I have my peeps to share in the glory and I count my blessings every day..... I am still studying the time thing and the energy level assention and found some inspiration in Russel Brand ......namaste'

Nice. I was wondering what was going on. Sounds like you are back on track. Now, do the work.

Saying "No" to everything else. Also referred to as hyper-focus. One secret of ultra high achievers.

Soon, Gonna Be Some Changes this Yr . . . I Want to Co - Write, With a Very Close Friend . . . Right Time & Dollars . . . But This Saying No Is Good . . . Focus . . . Time's Flyin' By . . . Good Idea . . got to Work @ Saying No . . . Yes Good Idea !

So many people struggle with saying no and especially the loved ones of addicts, who just can't say no and help their lives addicts into the grave, no is a word all people should practice saying daily, great article Derek and keep up the great work

Hell Yeah! For the article. Right from the beginning of the article, I feel so connected with it. I have also started several things and keep thinking about starting many more things, but the pressure of not producing is really building up.
Thanks for sharing an inspiring post. Looking forward to hearing about the project you are working on by saying NO to everything else :)

Ask yourself who's terms do you want to live on?
I don't believe there are any better terms to live on than your own. If you can you should. This does not make you a selfish person but could make you more effective. Taking an approach like this allows you to be more selective and hopefully you get a balance of yes and no of your choosing.

Ask yourself who's terms do you want to live on?
I don't believe there are any better terms to live on than your own. If you can you should. This does not make you a selfish person but could make you more effective. Taking an approach like this allows you to be more selective and hopefully you get a balance of yes and no of your choosing.

I was going to say NO to reading this... than I said YES, now i'm back to saying NO (except for your emails)

Thanks : )

Being from New Zealand and currently living in the came city as you I wouldn't exactly say it's a cabin - in fact there's more right out your door then you could ever wish for, however there's less of the pressure or distraction and more of the lifestyle to enjoy which makes it conducive to focusing on just ONE thing - or the most important things.

When I've done this in the past my results have been nothing short of outstanding. The discipline required though is something else but so worth it when it comes together and focus your energy into something that matters.

Excellent advice and as it turns out excellent time to have received it.
Cheers.

I understand this. I have spent much time putting myself off while helping others try to reach a goal.
Until one day I realized I was often pushing and working harder then they were. For little or no reward at all
I have learned to say no or not even offer to help. On those projects I just bailed and watched it all slam to a halt. I feel no guilt over this, it was not my dream I was only supposed to be helping them,
As a creative individual who has dreams Id like to try to accomplish in this lifetime... sometimes you just have to say no or offer no help..

Hi Derrek,

This is EXACTLY the kind of a nudge I needed ( for my neglect of joining a band, and following through with my music projects ) ....
Not to mention that it happened to be timely, right on the $ !

I thank you my friend !
Lale

Hey Derek, I suppose there really are few coincidentals in life, if any at all. With that said, I'm certain you followed your inner voice, by reaching out to me today. This is my story as well... I know there're many books rumbling within, but Mr Resistance is one powerful foe, that inevitably wins! I MUST conquer this demon soon, because time is of essence! Yes, there are always distractions lurking in the shadows, which always seem to consume my list of daily priorities. So, you read the "Desires of my Soul" today & I am moved to action! Getting away, may be the best GIFT, that I can give myself! Tomorrow begins a new commitment I have, as a Volunteer Respite Provider for 2 teenage boys. They will be with me for the next two weeks... just fulfilling my role as a part of "The Village" Concept, of raising disadvantage children in my Community. After this, I vow to aggressively pursue my personal goal of completely my first book. Hopefully, the Universe will use my next two weeks of Service... to nourish my thoughts by Sowing relevant seeds, that will grow into fruits I can use to move my project forward. Somewhere, I recall a Mantra pertaining to "SEEKING GOOD... AND ALL NEEDS WILL BE ADDED UNTO YOU!" THANKS AGAIN, ANGEL & FRIEND!

thanks,

best regards
Jan

Thanks for writing this. I've known I need to do this and stop adding widespread tasks to my plate.

Hey Derek brilliant observations. The creative spirit demands single focus in the midst of a maelstrom of distractions. It seems we have to tame our attentions and harness them to the service of the muse, whatever is particularly ours. It is how and why I disciplined myself to write a thesis so many years ago; put together 4 albums as a singer-songwriter; move to Nashville to finish a fifth; and begin to write the first of two books. Once conceived, the torment
and joy of the creative fire cannot be quenched by anything other than the completion of what we have imagined and committed to. If we do not bring forth that which is within us, it will destroy us. Creativity in its simplest terms is life itself.

Derek great piece. I think you've written about a very important subject. It's the difference between being productive and getting excited about too many things (being unproductive).

Reflecting on my life as a soccer player I can remember how many times as a kid I had to say "no" to friends requests to go out with friends or family events, because I was focused on just one thing. To train and get better. Nothing would get in my way of working out. If I didn't work out at least once in a day I would not accept any requests from my family or friends.
You could argue that's not a great way to live, but at some point if you want to become really productive you have to be willing to say no... All the time.

Simply THANK YOU !

If you keep saying "no" the temptation to say "yes" will become overwhelming.

Derek,

Being 1 of those 100, it was tough to get a NO, but you were always kindly with your response and that goes down well with me.

Good luck
Steve

Hello Derek,
Being single minded and focused takes a lot of dedication and is a lonely road but, it leads to success and personal fulfillment.

Thank you

What is it I am waiting for?

Always and always you posts feel like a direct email to me, the right subject with the right timing.
Direk, you are always awesome.

Thanks, Derek. I enjoyed reading that as it helped nudge me out of a little period of procrastination :)

How's NZ working out for you? It must be a fantastic place to live. I'd love to go back one day and do another grand tour. Like you say, New Zealand is a helluva long way from anywhere. I remember that the flight from Auckland to Bangkok was one of the longest legs on my round the world trip, and SE Asia is a relative near neighbour!

BTW, on the theme of your post, have you checked out Greg McKeown's book Essentialism? I think you'd appreciate it. A similar book is The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy. OTOH, Adam Grant makes an interesting counter case in Give and Take so I think we have to be very smart about paring things down but not cutting out everyone who we might be in a position to help.

http://www.amazon.com/Essentialism-The-Disciplined-Pursuit-Less/dp/0804137382
http://www.amazon.com/The-Compound-Effect-Darren-Hardy/dp/159315724X
http://www.amazon.com/The-Compound-Effect-Darren-Hardy/dp/159315724X

Thank you. I needed to read this. I've been doing the same thing and I want to stop being unproductive. Thank you for showing me that even the most successful people still struggle with a lack of productivity.

~Justin McKean

Thanks for the inspirational and motivational read Derek. This topic of single focus is certainly something we need to be reminded of daily. I struggle with myself daily and very grateful to have gained the wisdom and understanding to know how and when to focus on external projects. Keep up the wonderful work my friend and you can always count on me to work with you to complete Muckwork which was a great idea and a much needed resource.

Peace & Love
Matt
Feed Your Mind Music
"Music Matters"

Awesome work Derek as usual.
Great advice. It's so easy to get bogged down by so many digital distractions. I appreciate the sense of laser-like focus that following this advice could help facilitate. Going to share with my friends on Twitter and possibly my Songwriting fb group.
You WILL get these done. They are important to you and you definitely can. Be patient and gentle with yourself, decide which is most important to you and just keep going. Who cares if it takes a tad longer then you thought or if some days you didn't get as massively far as fast as you wanted? You still just keep going, just keep going, fight for it, maybe even visualize, and your efforts will all add up,... and the next thing you know you will have accomplished all you set out to do. :) Hope this helps. Saying a prayer for you! You can do it!!!

No Comment !!

Brilliant! loved it.
I've been in that zone few times, and resisting the resistance can be futile;)
Gladly, with the years I've made some 180 degrees decisions that helped me shape my path to where I belong & where I'm truly pro in my life's aim (quit high school to sign my band, then quit a successful hi-tech career to pursue my music even further, etc). The world lost it's calmness in the searchable universe. we should do more with less.

Thanks for this, Derek, as well as for the linked 'hell yeah, or no' post. Both are very timely and helpful messages at a time in my life when I'm on the edge of committing to full-time pursuit of music and my other writing. Thank you for throwing some clarity my way. Keep on!

Haha! This is wonderful wonder-fuel!

Now I'm fired up to c-o-n-c-e-n-t-r-a-t-e on the goals I've written down just this week. All the best to you Derek, and thanks for sharing your thoughts that are always so inspirational.

Thanks for the article, a great read. Regarding the songtest idea, I think you should follow through with this BUT charge like, $1 - $3 That way you get compensated and Musicians will still love it. Thanks for the inspiration over the years. Doug

Saying "no" to everyone else is actually saying "yes"
to yourself....isn't that the way it should be?
We (American) society are such a polite society,
too polite and at the expense of ourselves. I lived
in Barcelona for 11 years and found the Catalans
be rude and too direct at times....now that I think about it, it was just their way of saying "no" and standing up for themselves! When I traveled to Russia I was taken aback by the apparent rudeness of the general poulation, yes they can be a bit abrupt....but again it is a society who knows how to say no!! We need to learn from them, they may be selfish but at least they communicate the way they feel!

Oh, brilliant, Derek. It's exactly the same with learning lines. Anyone who says 'I'm going to learn my lines' is fudging. To do it you have to be long ahead of announcing it. Learning lines doesn't get done until it's done; no phone, no TV no distractions. The next step after learning your lines is stepping away from people who need you to fail. Best, as ever. David

Jee thought I was reading about me but different unfinished projects and I havent moved. Yea funny you mention learning I have done so much of that. Trouble is one forgets lots that we have learned and have to do big crash courses if we want to go back to do something again. I just changed the ball joints in my car. Its a job that can get your head taken off if you get it wrong if the big spring flies out. I feel pretty achieved and chuffed as I finished the job today. Been lots of learning specially as I couldnt find my workshop manual. Now I discover the rear gearbox seal is gone. Another job more learning. Been tidying up lots of real work load things. So feeling of some jobs finished. Still not getting to all the things I want to do. Yea a very fitting post. Yea you give so much of your time to helping others. It can eat ya up if you let it get too much take no repay.

This is great Derek. As someone who is wanting to write but can never get started it's perfect read. I've got so much I say yes to. Saying no would help. Then it's how to overcome the stymie of writing. Thanks.

This article came just when I needed a kick in the ass to get out of my Resistance funk.

Great article Derek! I would suggest re-titling it as "no plan b." By creating a second option in case you fail, you passively wish to so you don't have to try as hard. If you say you're a chef and want to cook a Lemon Meringue Pie but if you can't you'll just buy one down the street. You wont use 100% of your abilities to focus on the task at hand.

Hi Derek,
Nice to hear from you.
I admire your philosophy (mantra) because you're saying "Yes" in service to others, art, and your well being. If you were a hedge-fund manager or a weapons engineer I'd have another opinion.

This is just what I needed right now. Thank you! 🙌💗

This reminds me of a thing I read years ago that I still refer to and basically falls in line with what you're saying. When you feel stuck or paralyzed by choices and distractions do this:

1. Make a list of all the shit you really want to do and you care about. All the book ideas and band ideas, business ideas, your projects, all the "some day, maybe's".
2. Circle the top 10.
3. Make a choice about number 1 and give that one an extra circle or check or whatever. Determine what it would mean time-wise to give that a real go.
4. Now look at the other 9 circles making up the top 10 and.... Avoid those like the fucking plague. The rest of them you're probably never going to do anyway so don't sweat them. It's those 9 that are the real energy suck of your one great one. For at least as long as the time you've decided to give #1 all you've got.

Be well Derek,
Philip

Hello Derek,
I've wondered many times what happened to you and appreciate hearing from you. I've been to New Zealand and have a spot picked out by the coast.
You are right about NO. I will try that

Shirley Le Van

The truth sets us free....my wife Sumi and I have a small handwritten sign in the corner of the small studio that we share that reads "Defend Your Time."
we need and appreciate the constant reminder.
Best always,
John & Sumi

i most recently said NO to a guy who for whatever reason wanted ME to release HIS band cd on MY cdbaby page and ... it goes against all my DIY principles for a minute i thought hey i could be ahmet! but... NO! the beauty of your idea is in the doing it yourself and feeling the experience plus it takes away form MY own things im up to 38 cdbaby titles now... all but a few are ful length cds.. peopel want ME to DO for them what i have done for me but i dont seem to have the smae passion for that ( or as they SHOULD have for their own life.. and goals i really love your articles your cdbaby idea changed my life drastically . i quit playing live shows because it was impeding my cd releases.. and ultimately THAT body of work is what i want to leave behind not just a big body... live shows evaporate and somewhere along the line i lost my ego and need for approval by a crowd of 20... ( i can have a crowd of 5000 but that airfare to germany has gone through the roof... cheers best wishes and keep going with these emails

such a great reminder!

Derek,
As it usually happens, I read your blog post, seeing myself in it more often than not. This one hits home with me for sure. I am a very well rounded person who can help in many ways! As a result, it's tough to say no - I think the task will be a quick get in, get out type of deal, but then I either get hooked, or can't escape it. I often dream of unplugging and running off, but I have a wife and kids I can't abandon. It is quite a mental struggle and I never really know how to express it. But, reading this post allows me to be at ease that I am not alone at least.

Be well my friend.

Derek,
Power to you and Mr Pressfield for being courageous enough to make those life decisions and being able to shut out other things to pursue aspirations. I think that is wonderful. However, not everyone has the ability to do that – many people have life commitments and financial obligations that cannot allow that sort of personal experience. What I take from Mr Pressfield’s experience and also perhaps from your own is the strength and diligence that is needed to set aside time in a ‘cabin’ that can work within your daily life where, even if it can only be for an hour a week you have time to work on what it is that you are passionate about and want to complete. I guess it’s a more practical take for the majority of people on the somewhat unattainable concept of shutting yourself away in a cabin for a year or moving to another country. Alison.

Thanks Derek, I too am now at a Crossroads. Tried for years to make a success of either playing or writing, not much, until one day my wife said "why don't you do something with the music you made years ago? Let the kids hear it" So, with a little help from my friends who taught me how to use Logic on a Mac, I started to digitise my old cassettes and one two studio tapes from 1970 to 1975. Finally, I knuckled down. I stopped saying Yes to all and sundry and concentrated on doing this album. It worked, I now have two albums released by (The Bolton) Iron Maiden - We give ALL the profits to 2 cancer charities (our guitarist died from testicular cancer in 1976 - then we gave the name away) The actual Iron Maiden were so cool about it, they choses the name we should use so as to not conflict with them, then gave us a massive plug on their website, and helped us to give all profits to the charities. We are now close to have raised £15k - a major player in all this was a cool company called "CD BABY" - they did EVERYTHING to get the CD out there and it has been great.
So - don't sit on your bum and wish you were doing something - GO AND DO IT. It is YOU who is stopping (maybe great) things happening. You never know, what you never know.
Kind regards Derek - you were a major part of my great perspiration and inspiration. Could not have done it without you and the Baby!

Regards
Paul TJ O'Neill

I love the idea of getting away from it all whether to focus or "unfocus". I recently launched something I'd been talking about for months, and it took the form of a meet up group for Conscious Creatives. There was great relief at having finally taken a step to bring it out of the mind and into form in the real world. Now I realize that was the easy part! Now I've got to feed it and shape it and promote it, etc. It is time more than ever to focus, not only to develop that project but to manage all the others already in process. For me that means focusing within the life I've created, at home, and managing the distractions that are often side by side with the inspirations and the tools for implementation (ie the internet/computer). There are some apps for this!
I think I'll take the cabin when I'm done and ready for a vacation. That's when I want to unplug, recharge and create space for something new to emerge!

Am sure this is a battle many of us are fielding at this point in time. Just accepting too many things and feeling overwhelmed at things to do which are not even important.

I used to do this. Saying yes to everyone who needs my time. A sense of importance was there when people came and asked for my time. but then I realized am not giving myself time then why the hell should I spare it for others. I have not made great progresses in life, writing or thinking but atlteast I feel I have a bit of time for myself and thinking now.

So Hell yeah I would say No to people who seek my time cos I would love to spend it on myself. call me selfish but it works!

To me a great problem is to say no to things you love and do things that you have to do.

Nice article, Derek! I think I'm going to have to do my own Madrid version of the cabin. Have an idea for a web for languages I've been entertaining for one or two years, it's going slow but it's going. Heyrumst!

Derek,

What are you saying Yes to, nowadays? What are you building?

I'll do my best not to bother you, and thanks for the insightful post - listened to Tim Ferriss' interview with Scott Adams (Dilbert creator) and decided to go with systems *toward* goals instead of just goals - your post adds the other arrow to my minimalist "get it done" quiver.

Derek, when our paths first crossed, you were establishing CD Baby in the 1990s, and I was part of Holly Figueroa's site called Indiegrrl (btw, Holly and I are still friends), none of us knew how the "new" internet thing was going to shake out. Personally, I was going through an awful divorce, the loss of my home and belongings (except for my guitars and piano--yay law enforcement) and the I moved into the dank dark flood-prone basement in my mother's house. She was the consummate narcissist, and I ended up being hospitalized for depression.

I said yes to relationships and situations that I could not humanly shoulder.

Now, I live in a place that is my home... repeat MY HOME. Tonight a mama deer and her foal walked passed my sun room windows. It was so peaceful.

Derek, you're always invited, and you're always welcome in my home. My safe and beautiful home.

Virginia

Goals, goals goals.
"I" decided to have goals, so let's call everything else "resistance".
How ironic!
If process of spending your time on unrelated (is there even such a thing?) people and their projects seems like giving in to resistance, let's fix that.
Call it a "goal". And you achieved it, Derek. If G-d calls up your number, *that* what will count - people you've touched.
Your book recommendations are worth their weight in gold.
You made countless people think and helped them grow. "Resistance"?
We want more of it.
Thank you for everything!

I need to visit where you two have gone to create such energy in creating. Every one who knows me knows I can write. Every one wants a book. In 1977 - 79, I wrote my own sequel to STAR WARS - Episode IV: A NEW HOPE as a part 2 to this same adventure bridging the gap between it and what I knew was on the way waiting for us in 1980's STAR WARS - Episode V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. 200 hand written pages of space action and adventure.
Now I need to write about over a hundred rabbits I have made friends with including Grabber, Ruffles, Raincoat and the rest!

I agree, and except for the sex part; I often feel the need, an ache of desire to lock my self away and create something, anything.

HE may not come when you call but he's always on time. Thank you for this timely message. Cheers.

Derek. Thank you for writing this. It's a very valuable article and right at a time ☺ I'm working on my new album, and got out of focus for a while. There always is something to do, which distracts from what really needs to be done. It feels like inner calling that always is there to the point you can't relax your mind. No matter how important thing that I do, a thought about unfinished work drills my mind and feels like urgency. I almost feel guilty for postponing my recording. I needed a "kick". Universe talks to us through situations and people. We just have to be open in order to hear the messages. Thank you for bringing this message ☺ Much love 💗☀️

I will finish it or kill myself. Definitely how I feel right now as a fellow creator. God Speed to you Derek

Great read, Derek, so true... We need to learn how to say "NO" for sanity sake because nobody can please everybody every time. "NO" at times helps to serve "YES" and keeps "YES" healthy. Greetings from us all @ www.ammgospel.com

Yes, I answered that query under one of my other email addresses. But to repeat myself , answering NO for request of my time has gotten to be the quite EZ . In fact too easy! Like the other day when the cashier at a popular restaurant asked "would you like to donate a dollar for......" I said NO so loud the cashier scolded me ..saying "you don't have to yell". Really, I do give when the cause is just , but it does pain me to be solicited in a manner of such casualness . Another spin on using the word NO , it can be quickly rescinded by the word YES.

Dear Derek I think you must earnestly want to do this, or you wouldn't be doing it. Its very hard to be single minded when there are so many distractions, but now that you have isolated yourself from all these other ideas from the universe and there are millions of them, I hope the peace and tranquillity will see you through. Beware of temptations. they can destroy everything.

I almost didn't leave a response ...because I thought "No!" ...but then I realized I'm online. Darn!

Derek,
I've always enjoyed your writing, thoughts. You do a nice job of keeping things in perspective.
Cheers,

I needed to hear this today.

Thank you.

Here's to saying no!

My sentiments exactly. I can not shut myself off completely because of family responsibilities, but I 'make do' - hence I'm finally completely revamping my website, re-writing my first novel, gym three times per week...etc...I'm finally doing Sherlie. Thanks for this one, Derek. Enjoyed it, as always!

I like it. It is often way to easy to allow distractions to get in the way. I can't even say how often I disappoint myself when I've got an idea in my head and I go to concrete it but I get distracted by the 100 other things that are in my surroundings. Lost many a good plots that way that I simply can't get back. Very frustrating. Can't say that I'd personally go the route of shutting myself in a log cabin( not that I don't like the log cabin part, that would be awesome), but just shutting out all means of distraction would be useful. Also learning to say no not just to others but to yourself.

Focus, purpose & need are drivers to my success & happiness.

Unlimited choice, Distractions and freedom have been blockers to my success & happiness.

The paradox of choice really got this - leading to decision/action paralysis. anxiety, depression, regret and deep unhappiness.

Less is always more.

Hi Derek,
I never felt that I have to compose my work everyday. But I'm READY to compose at any given time if music idea & passion comes to me! Each time is different: I may write down a few notes or several bars each time...There are other times I didn't realize that I worked a whole day along with the synthesizer until
the new piece was finally born and ready. Only in those particular moments that I shut out myself completely from any distraction... Then back to norm again after that hard, fantastic and crazy process.
In my opinion, CD Baby is a wonderful thing that you created (or authored) not only for yourself but also for many other music professionals, listeners... (I'll not be surprised if you win a Pulitzer prize.) You surely have my admiration as always! In regards to distraction, my feeling tells me that: The distance is only as close or far away as your heart feels...
Best, Gong Qian from Chicago

You might want to check out Dr. Elaine Aron...HSP specialist. You may be someone like me. Even if you're not...you are still a fellow artist that I enjoy hearing from.

As you know, I am a Christian and I will be praying for you. Those are not just words....I truly believe that God hears my prayers.

My best,
Joyce

Your an interesting guy!!! I lived in Australia for five years.. France for three. Ready to go somewhere again! Thanks for your thoughts!!!

Several years ago, I purposely stopped over-loading my helping plate, still trying to find that correct balance. Life is better in many ways! Prayer really helps to before I say yes or no.

There are so many unfinished projects, some will get done, others will not and maybe were not supposed to be started for one reason or another.

Now I try to finish the ones I start and hope the best for those that may have life or purpose still !

One of my favorite quotes from musician Thad Cockrell is, "There is a lot of power in the word NO."

Great thoughts Derek, keep up the good work.

Used to smoke weed so that the stuff that needed doing around the house would disappear. Then, I was qualified for little else than writing songs. Lol! One does not have to go in order to leave!! By the way, just finished a new CD "Anything Can Happen" if you're interested in checking out tracks at Soundcloud. Have a great weekend, Derek. I enjoy your rants as you wrestle with yourself as we all do. Helpful.

Sometimes we just have to shove everything that tries to capture us into the background, ignore it, and get busy in the struggle to complete our biggest dreams. With all kinds of false starts, I finally completed my "final wishes" through the Neptune Society (cremation services, paid for and everything outlined) and now for my next goal, complete my family history as far back as I can go with the help of Ancestry.com and the LDS Church website. If you knew me, you'd say, "Girl, it's about time!" but I'm already 70 pushing for 71 in a couple of months and I've barely begun that last goal. I just want to leave a legacy, not write books or music, or anything like that. I'm the oldest of my generation and have always felt the call to do this, so...here it is! My time! My way! Yay!

Good luck, Derek...hope it goes fabulously!

Thanks Derek.... once again. :)

Derek,

I told you I'd read this, and I did--keeping promises is part of the creative process, too. I probably didn't tell you why I hadn't done anything after the children's CD with your company until now. If you're interested, I'll tell you, but suffice it to say this resonated with me. I didn't have to say no; I had to say yes to myself again. I think my trip back to creating was being willing to put myself back into the arena. It had become comfortable being a recluse. I guess I'm the other side of the coin. Glad we're both back!

Hey Derek,thanks for the info,i've bought Steven Pressfield's book ,its "touches" exactly what feel .

Enjoy your day
Erez.

What a lovely Sunday email Derek. I only check emails on Sundays when in muse mode. My way to clear the clutter. "Simplify Simplify" - Thoreau

Thank you for the reminder. This made me think of the Russian practise of "poustinia," or "going into the desert" (sometimes literally, but usually it's just a cabin). All distractions removed, one is free to do whatever it is God* has for them that day; sometimes it's prayer & meditation, other times it's just catching up on lost sleep. And sometimes it's writing that book or finishing that record.

*by which I mean the quiet inner self who gets drowned out every day

So difficult to do...

Hell is here on earth... that's where I am when I lack focus and moving single mindedly toward my goals.
Awesome post. So well expressed.

Mahalo! 'No' is one of the shining lamps of authenticity. Awesome!

Thanks Derek!
I so so so need to hear this right now! You are a gem who sits on my mental board of directors and I thank you for all you do AND don't do ;-)

Love the War of Art. Never knew of the others so will look them up.

'Focus, focus, focus'.

So easy to say, so difficult to do, especially with having the whole internet at our fingertips 8/

Great article and right on time for me. It really makes me understand what this phase of my life is. Thank you so much for sharing.

I'd suggest it is feeling able to say no rather than necessarily saying no that is the important thing.

Great article Derek! Thanks for sharing and wishing you all the best in your projects!

No is Yes! to life...No? YES
Derek....thank you!

I'm all that to the 10th power. If I could back it up to 2 that would be miraculous. Yet, concentrating on one thing sounds a little like hell on earth. :)

Thanks, Derek. I completely understand this and am slowly getting better on saying no more often. It's a work in progress.

I recently read "Turning Pro" and the idea of a cabin has a lot of merit to it. Cutting out distractions has been difficult for me often times - especially with FOMO of other things in life. This I believe is where it's important to choose what's most important - the one thing. This can be a difficult choice for a lot of people, surely, but I can see it making a huge difference.

Hi. I understand all that but my ass is always on the line. I have to chase across a broad front because all my art is speculative, and the concentration upon it is stolen from my nights. I have to be everybody, and look as well to what can be shown to work with some learning (=time) thrown in. I'd be happy in a cabin for a bit if there were no other pressing priorities. I see your point, though.

Thanks again Derek : )

Thanks for always writing articles that inspire

Thanks Derek,
personally a timely article for me.
Hope you're enjoying New Zealand!

Don't ever say no
Just say yes
To something else

Totally agree - it was only when I said NO to everything else, that my business AND LIFE really took off! I also loved "Turning Pro" and "The War of Art". Thx for the post!

As Jay Samit says,

'A dream with a deadline is a goal' . . .

Cheers!
Best,
Lauri

Most would probably tell you " THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO" and so.....this
IS exactly what I do. I have at least 6 to 10 tunes or big band arrangements that I've started and never finished. Some I've finished but never played with the sextet or my 10 piece band. Something started and not finished is a drag but something finished and never played is a cryin' damn shame. I can't take all the blame. Nobody wants to get together to rehearse tunes if there's no gig in sight and that's the biggest drag of all. Maybe..........some day......and then maybe not. RW

I've never had a problem finishing a film project but it takes weeks, sometimes, to get out there and trim the bushes. I'm retired. I don't worry about finishing things anymore. LOL

Well I can relate to this since my everyday work includes helping people with their problems on a very deep level(sort of like a psychic social worker) whilst the artist in me needs to create.It does help to have alone time to get to the bottom of what I need sometimes,but many times I know what I have to do to make change happen.I recently put myself in an isolated situation to get back to my true creative base and grow again.I have done allot of writing and reconnected with the important people in my life that support my creativity and growth and learned to say NO to people who are very draining and yes to the people who listened,and manage my own time in a better and healthful way for ME.

Perhaps you'd benefit from working with a coach ;-)

I have been struggling with this one for years, and it's finally reaching a boiling point.

Thanks for the reminder.
☺

Hell NO, as well.

Lots of folks find they can accomplish things and still "have a life". The trick, as it is in so many aspects of life, is balance. And for some things, and some people, the only way seems to be to cut off from all else. And what about after one finishes "the project"? Can you then go back to video games and Facebook?
Yep. This isn't the solution for all situations and all people. This is a short-term solution for when the other solutions have not worked. It's a temporary extreme measure. — Derek

Absolutely!
But it's also the hard part.
Saying no.
Want to be effective and finish things: requires more no's than yeses.
Thanks, Derek

This is scary! I am exactly at this point in my life As of July, I swore off sex for at least o e year. Why? Too distracting. I say no to the TV everyday. My life is so focused right now. You are always on point Derek. Hats off to you.

For me, I'll have to do what love requires for my family and say 'NO' to everything else.

Derek, I'm a big fan of yours and have been following your posts and book reviews for many years. The thing I strongly feel is missing here is some element of wholeness. Your article is completely goal oriented , which albeit well ; fails to keep in mind that enjoying the process and reveling in the bliss and beauty of the world at the same time is of parallel importance. I agree with the mantra of saying "no" to everything else, and to focus on what is important. What I would add is that if you are in the cabin, or new Zealand or whatever that space may be - be at one with it :) thank you for sharing your innermost thoughts with us all over the past few years. love and light

Loved this article. Very inspiring and makes me think about my own unfinished projects. Saying "No" to others is saying "Yes" to myself sometimes. It's good to be reminded of that. :)

Focus. Focus. Focus. Focus is the key to success.

Derek, thank you so much for this article... been dealing with the same demon of saying "yes" to too many things at once... and never getting anything done (especially the things I really want to get done).
You have given me food for thought and an call for action that I intend not to ignore!
I hope all is going well with you, man!
Josep

Yes Derek .the pain of not being notice or rewarded when u produce can be very hard to live with too .

Thank you for this. I'm often made to feel arrogant for saying 'no'.

If I understanding you right, you're having trouble saying, no. You're a creative being, you're good with and to people...
When the plane emergency light comes on you've got to give yourself oxygen 1st before helping the child. Unless you help yourself first, you won't be able to help the child.
Good to hear from you. Hope this helpful.
Best,
Arthur

Struggling with this right now as I have the capacity to learn things very fast. Tim Ferriss' recent email on quitting startup investing made me read your Hell Yeah or No post. I'm juggling between creative arts and my dayjob as a civil engineer that pays the job. Really thinking hard on what I should be focusing on - the Struggle is real in learning how to say NO.

Thank you. I am now inspired by this to say no to everything that is not going in the direction I'm taking; that is not something I want to do; or that doesn't keep me healthy.

I'm curious if you have a template for "NO" emails, or whether you hand craft each one.

I try to say NO to lots of things, but I feel guilty, read what they are doing, and end up spending 15 minutes on some NO emails, especially the juicy ones.

My goto right now is a template, "Unfortunately, I am not taking new projects at this time."

And, one I've used in the past is,
"Unfortunately, I am not taking new projects at this time. If you think this is still very important, write me again in a month replying to this message."

One thing I've noticed is that many people accuse me of being egotistical or rude.
I hand-craft each one. Anything too generic sounds too impersonal. (Including “write me again in a month replying to this message”. Sorry.) It's too easy to be misunderstood. — Derek

This explains your recent email very well, thank you Derek. I appreciate the laser-like focus. Now all we need to do is figure out how to manage the tension of sourcing insights from your audience while maintaining focus . . .

Good stuff.

Re-reading this I remember a great quote of Conan O'Brien: "Put yourself in a situation where You have no choice".
Saying no is a powerful way to prioritice, get things done and add meaning to your life.

1. I enjoyed your Tim Ferris podcast.

2. I have used this approach when I needed to such as studying for tests.

3. But now as an educated person, I should know it's okay to say "NO"! or really HELL NO!
I feel so much pressure of organizations (which I am a member of). In 2016, I am going to stop the madness.

Happiness is family time at the beach, helping my child learn to ride a bike, shoot a basket or even surfing your website...200 books.

Derek
The same can also be said about where we spend and invest our money. We don't often think that our financial decisions can have an effect on this type of stuff. The reality is that our financial choices end up either spreading us very thin or leading a life of reward. I am not talking about any particular right way to choose, just that these choices have a huge impact on how we live the rest of our lives. Think carefully on them!!!

So true, only when we can say no to million things coming into our life daily and say yes to very few the most important do we change our life for the better - finishing projects, improving health, relationships etc.
Thank you Derek!

Nice post

I can't remember who said it, but somebody once told me to write the top 5 things I want to do before the end of the year.

He then got me to put them in order of importance.

He then said, cut 2-5 completely.

Focus only on 1.

Points 2-5 are just there to distract you.
☺ I love this. Thank you. — Derek

Great piece Derek. I'm at a point in my life now where the pain of not putting 100% into my top goals and letting the outside non important world intrude in has got me fed up and this is just the piece I needed, a reminder, of how important it is to do top things I know I need to do.
Thank you
Eric "the Swedish meatball" Lawson

I have the privilege of being an instructional coach in a middle school - in particular- it is my directive to support teachers in creating project based learning units that are exciting and real life. This means that my time is not restricted with teaching a specific 7 classes a day but it also means that everyone - my teachers and my administrators see my time as expendable - that I am an excellent in the moment problem solving resource. And I love saying yes because I get a little shot of euphoric- I helped! - satisfaction for a few minutes. But I experience anguish about not achieving my prime directive - which is to revolutionize learning in our school. Thanks for the post - I am going to commit to one yes today - that is the launch of a school wide project on energy management that will be really fun and engaging for kids and teachers. I can't solve everyone's problems permanently- in fact - running around putting out fires only spreads the embers.

Everything I read at the time I read it of yours....I am moved....inspired....enlightened. I appreciate what you do. Just what I need to to input in my mind and heart. No is vitally important. Learning that Now more than ever.

Thank you for this. Aren't you saying yes to yourself or something by saying no to others. This is still inspirational. That is service to others my friend, as long as you reach out. Thank you

No, No, No, No, No, Yes!

Thanks Derek.

Thanks for the link;) I have been using this mindset for all of my decision making process outside of my business for a few months now, works a treat. I have also recently adopted a "no thank you" response without giving a reason, game changer. There are a few things I need to do in business that's isn't a Hell Yeah! but are smaller pieces of the puzzle. Love your work Derek.

Thanks, #372.

You're a great writer and clearly thoughtful person. Thank you! I'm enjoying getting to know your work.

Derek,

This post also goes quite well with the "Trying to pursue many directions" post

https://sive.rs/donkey

Notice how the themes are linked yet they were written years apart.

What should we do? What do we want? The everyday human struggle 😊

Thank you Derek, these posts are gold dust

Great article - thanks for sharing & thanks for your direct & clean cut approach - love it mate!!!!

HELL YEAH or no! - i have used a few times & loving it more & more.

I have found that, often, the Resistance is really ME, not wanting to accept possible success. I'm well-known (among those who know me) as someone who ALWAYS tries to help---but in 'helping' I often sacrifice myself and my things in the process. And like you, I've started but not finished, too many things! Self sabotage is an old 'friend' of mine--one that I chose to 'un-friend' awhile ago! But he pops up now & then...uninvited. 😊

Even now that I'm aligned with my true self (most of the time, at least...) I find that I sometimes self-sabotage! This upsets me greatly! I tend to go into a "funk" if I don't stay on top of it emotionally...and then I must heal myself--again!! Not that there's necessarily anything wrong with further healing....but still....

I'd like to reach a point where I welcome the completion of a project I've been excited to launch--always, not just sometimes. I'd like to reach the point where I know when to help others in fulfilling service, and when to say "no" to take care of myself and to truly help others find their own way. "No" hasn't been a huge part of my vocabulary lately when it comes to healthy limits for myself....

I'm a retired Registered Nurse, in recovery (from a heroin & opiate addiction) since 1998. I'm not the owner or CEO of a company---whether large or small. I don't have a job I go to. But I DO sew. I sew quilts by hand. Yes---I said 'by hand'. I am enlightened & aware enough to admit that I'm very talented in this endeavor., and that the quilts I make are beautiful. I've wanted to start selling my quilts and wall hangings, but so far, I've been a victim of The Resistance! I haven't sold ANY quilts yet, nor have I taken any orders to custom make any!

I realize that I do self-sabotage to some degree... But I'm not really sure WHY I never get this business off the ground. Being retired, I have all the time in the world, yet I haven't gotten a web page together---not even an Etsy shop. I have 2 quilts (and many more ideas) started, and can't seem to finish them, or to get the nuts & bolts together of an enterprise to sell them! I know that, with the right marketing ideas, I could make a success of this! But I just sit back, wishing I had a little more money coming into the household, but not taking any action to bring in that money. Why is this? Any ideas why I'd be holding myself back?

Deborah.....I'd really like to hear some things about following thru on ideas, on grabbing my success, on how to avoid self-sabotage....on how to beat The Resistance! Can you help me with some ideas on reaching out & grabbing my success? Am I out of alignment somehow? Am I holding onto something from the past that's in my way? I'd appreciate any suggestions or solutions you might have as to why I"'


One more thing... Can I just mention how grateful I am? How wonderful it is to be free from the bondage of addiction? By growing ever closer to God, by transforming myself thru healing, etc., I've eliminated my 'need' for drugs in my life. And now, I'm ready to manifest more money in my life!

Can you give me any words of wisdom in meeting and defeating The Resistance? Thanks!

Don't like it :) But respect it. You're awesome man... Cheers!

This is it! I feel the calling again. I've felt it but ignore It over and over. I say "yes" to my non "musician/ creative" husband who wants me to watch another movie. My heart tells me to practice my guitar, sing, rewrite that song to perfection. Record a single and get it out there before it's too late. Time is passing. If it's not him it's always something. It's so hard to say "no". I must say "yes"
to my creative calling and gift. Thanks Derek!

Agree with you on Singapore being a highly distracting place. Which is why I love it here in California, away from the buzz and vibrant of a city state, and having all these space to do what I'm wired to do.

Thank you Thank you Thank YOU!
You're my hero.

Blessings for the New You/Year~

You're message is sinking in. I've read the war of art. On that note, this is a request but maybe doable. I have a cement block wall on my street corner that I wanted to do a painting on. I finally figured out that I wanted to paint a young kid looking up at the sky from the opeining of a tent around dusk, so that maybe the tent had a golden glow.

It came to me today that you're camping with your young son. If you had any photos that you would email, that even minimally fit my description that I could use as reference for my painting, it would be thrilling to me.

Thanks for considering,
Desiree Benesh Schmidt

You're message is sinking in. I've read the war of art. On that note, this is a request but maybe doable. I have a cement block wall on my street corner that I wanted to do a painting on. I finally figured out that I wanted to paint a young kid looking up at the sky from the opeining of a tent around dusk, so that maybe the tent had a golden glow.

It came to me today that you're camping with your young son. If you had any photos that you would email, that even minimally fit my description that I could use as reference for my painting, it would be thrilling to me.

Thanks for considering,
Desiree Benesh Schmidt

Maybe

Next thing you do

Is

...something entirely


new!

If only one could keep silent about the exciting things one intends to do until the doing is done...

I love it and I am taking your advice and focusing on my own pursuits and saying NO to Any and Everything else on my Birthdate!!! Now send my gift to my virtual money train...#ThanksinAdvance

Thank you for this, Derek. It reminds me of something I once read about Michaelangelo. He's purported to have said that in creating the David, he was not attempting to invent a David, but rather to remove everything that wasn't David.

Hell Yes! I need to say NO!....More and more everyday. Love the cabin idea, I actually have one in Montana that I hardly use. Time to spend more alone time finishing all my startups.
www.bigbullventures.com

Thanks Derek....needed the reminder to start my NOT NOW LIST for all those distracting ideas.

Don

I needed this because it's hard to say no but sometimes in life you have to be selfish in order to give your gift to the world.

Incredible as always Derek! Sending you an email now with a lengthier hello. Thank you for the outstanding update!

I love you. Not romantically, but as an inspiring human being.

Just what I needed today. Thanks!

Thanks for this, Derek. It's so relevant to many of us. Allow me to share something interesting about the "STOP" sign. Apparently, the sign was inspired from thousands of years ago in Sumerian times, where a fringe group of thinkers would put up “Styopsian” signs throughout the ancient cities not to stop traffic, but unnecessary “mind movement”. I've spent 2 years as a relatively quiet hermit in Sydney but am now back in the city of busy and utterly distracting Kuala Lumpur! I wish you well in your writing. Take care.

This is why I'm a fan! I'm also using this very structure in the hopes that I stop chasing every damn shiny ball that comes my way. To your success and a few blogs to keep us entertained and educated while you wrestle under the beast that is authoring.

Of course this measure is for extreme times.

As for regular times, for my lifestyle, by reading the entertainment section of the newspaper, and keeping my ear to other media, I am able to feel OK (oriented and informed) about deleting my cable, my rabbit ears and my TV coat hanger. I'm not a TV hating nerd, it's just that I have to say "no" in order to have time for my art.

(I can still buy or borrow collected DVD episodes)

Come to think of it, I also say no to professional sports and video games. And I have noticed that not one of my fellow writers, not one, makes a costume for a weekend convention for fantasy and science fiction.

Of course I'm not saying anybody else should do like me, I'm just illustrating that Derek's concept can be applied to ongoing regular life.

Can't wait

I started learning how to code about six years ago and was lucky enough to chat with Derek in an IRC chatroom. Derek helped provide insight into programming that was invaluable to me as I began my new career. At the time, I had no idea Derek was a successful entrepreneur taking his valuable time to help a stranger. His advice that day was a huge boost to what eventually became a successful career as an engineer. However, today my passion for engineering is all but gone. I haven't been able to let go of my engineering career for fear of having wasted my time. I've had 1 foot in the "engineering door" and another in the "writing door," leaving me more or less stagnant. Once again Derek's words are a guiding beacon on how to find real success, which we can achieve through self-love and the pursuit of our passions. This article was the last push I needed to know what to do next on my journey, so let me say again... thank you, Derek.

Hello Derek,

I thank God I came across one of your notes copied while I was still at IBM or when I was relocating to Canada ( or there about). You see I am an avid collector of information of all sorts ( on my Mac alone I am sure I have close on 1000 books - never read!). I am happy that yesterday while for the upteenth time I was re-arranging my collection to put them centrally i picked up one of the notes (found out its from the review you did on Entrepreneurship - E-Myth Revisited - by Michael Gerber).

We have so many similarities Derek- I start so many things but have the habit of completing none! I say Yes to everything and getting none done so many times - I am struggling with Focus . I am committing again to try one more time and I hope you will find sometime to walk with me on this journey is all I can ask. I need to get my life back .

Thank you.

If you only compare apples to apples you wouldn't know what an orange tastes like. Would you? One way of arriving at viable alternatives is by engaging in conversations with people who are equally interested in comparing apples to oranges like yourself Derek. All the Best on your life’s journey.

Your phrase "psychological pain of not producing" sent a shiver down my spine.

That one decision, in advance, scares the hell out of me, so it's probably the path I should take.

Hi

It is actually very misleading, this doing one thing and saying no etc. Becasue you can never do one thing, it is not possible. Even when you are doing 1 thing your are not doing 1 thing, that 1 things involves you doing 100 other things.

Derek, as I write this, according to your Now Page,
you have pulled back from your original plan of getting to know people by doing Saying No. In Oxford.

Might I suggest working on your books, in part, in a regular coffee shop? That way, when you are all done, and ready to say yes to being non-solitary, you will be a regular in the shop and you will be ready to know your community.

For everyone else, I think feeling "membership"in a community is a social construct, that occurs between your ears, and it helps enormously to have one or more people pleased to see you. Especially if the same person shows up at a second venue, such as a parent-teacher association. Or by the river.

Sorry, I see that first sentence above was unclear.

I meant to say you changed your original plan to be non-solitary in Oxford, to doing instead the practise of saying no to everything else.

In my head a brainstormed a vision of you spending regular Wednesdays at some coffee shop.

Note about Britain changing: I have spotted chain coffee shops. Another change: every man bareheaded, no tweed cloth caps. The only fellow wearing a US style baseball cap was me. Not to advertise a sports team or John Deere tractors, mine had the smiling face of My Neighbour Tottoro, from the anime movie. It's a good hat for being non-solitary: perfect strangers tell me how delighted they are.

I wouldn't know how to spot a chain tea shop, if such exist.

A strategy is actually deciding what you won’t do, rather than deciding what you will do...

Hell yeah or no, genius

For Jude at #376, and the rest of us who, to quote President Clinton, feel Jude's pain.

Your story made me go ouch! I guess the shoe pinched, or brought up old memories.

You ask for help regarding Resistance. Your writing here is a form of Talking, and in your drug recovery you have learned the value of Talking (that is, if you were in a recovery group) so let me add that it truly helps to Talk to a one-to-one counsellor. Scary, humble, but helpful.

In your group you might try talking only of recent Action: what you have concretely done and struggled with in the last week. (There is such power for your dear listeners in such reality) Not what you're "gonna do" or "should do." Not talking in (or hiding behind) abstractions.

To paraphrase Jesus, "Sufficient unto the week are the lessons thereof."

As regards Resistance, the man Derek talks about above wrote his book as if he was Talking, a book that he will not lecture about in front of any groups. He says struggling against Resistance is too intimate for telling to groups. If reading The War of Art doesn't set you on the path... then maybe this is just not your time.

Maybe just be content with who you are. For example, I for one don't try to be like Derek.

As regards what it takes for your personal time to come, a fellow in recovery noted, "It takes what it takes."

How best can we say no to everything else when we need relationship and still trying to figure things out.
Finishing something helps you figure things out, and I think helps relationships too. — Derek