Data surpassed oil as the world’s biggest commodity in 2017. Our data is constantly being ‘harvested, collected, modelled and monetised’. We live in a hyper-connected world where things don’t seem to have happened unless you post about it. An emotion hardly seems validated until it’s been shared with others online. On average, we spend a quarter of our lives online. Our online activity will unavoidably leave digital traces in the form of data that will remain even after we die. So with life being lived increasing online, how is it that we have thought so little about our ‘digital death’?

It’s time we started giving our digital assets as much importance as we do with our physical ones. Now more than ever, people have an intangible life online, apart from just their physical one. In order to give users (seeming) control over their decisions, how they wish to be perceived online and respect how different people grieve, we need to reevaluate ‘post-mortem data management’. We need to focus on building systems that support and respect the bereaved, that shine light on how technology is being used at the end of a users life and how information about deceased people is used.

Virtual Cemeteries

It is widely stated that Facebook alone, could have more dead members than living ones in as little as 50 years. But modern technologies are not designed to effectively acknowledge the inevitable death of a user. Until 2015 Facebook had no provision for users to manage their data after they pass. They have since then introduced a ‘Legacy Contact’ feature that allows people to assign a trusted contact who can manage their profile to a certain extent. However, I didn’t know this feature even existed until I started thinking about this topic. While this feature gives some control to the user; it doesn’t take away from the fact that the data is still owned by Facebook. We don’t really know what happens to our data when we die. Who gets to own the data? What happens to our data when Facebook dies? At some point the internet is going to be a virtual cemetery…it already kind of is.

Google rolled out a similar feature called ‘Inactive Account Manager’ earlier in 2013. And though this was a step towards helping people deal with their digital data and grief — it brought up other concerns. Inheriting a digital legacy can complicate the experience of the death of a loved one. For some, it may foster a feeling of connection, for others, the responsibility bestowed upon them to make decisions on behalf of their loved one can be daunting. Technology companies already have a large influence on dictating the way we live our lives, and it is clear that in the digital age, our cultural experience of death is also being dictated by them.

Digital Remains

In a case study by Facebook, they stated that they tried to make sure to remove what they deemed as ‘unnecessary’ reminders of the deceased such as notifications or reminders of their birthday. However, in several cultures, people like to remember their deceased loved ones. Lauren Goode wrote about how the algorithms on multiple apps are not letting her forget about the wedding she decided to call off.

“I realised it was foolish of me to think the internet would ever pause just because I had. The internet is clever, but it’s not always smart. It’s personalised, but not personal. The internet doesn’t know or care whether you actually had a miscarriage, got married, moved out, or bought the sneakers. It takes those sneakers and runs with whatever signals you’ve given it, and good luck catching up.” — I Called Off My Wedding. The Internet Will Never Forget (WIRED)

She speaks about how the digital remains of her relationship act as a constant reminder in her life — even 7 years later. While there is merit in being able to deal with and confront these memories, every individual’s experiences are so unique and require a different level of understanding; one size does not fit all. Forgetting is often a coping mechanism for people and without the death of digital death, that can prove to be a traumatic experience.

Taking Control

How can we empower people to take control of their data while they are alive? How do we support communities who are impacted by a loved one’s death and are grieving? How do we strike a balance between respecting the needs of a deceased account holder and the grieving community they have left behind?

The lack of control the grieving community had over memorialised profiles pre-legacy contact impacted them in various ways. People grieve in different ways — privately, collectively, by compartmentalising. The internet makes it possible to eliminate geographical boundaries, it allows a larger group of people to experience loss together. People grieve on a public platform because it makes them feel as though they are not alone in their pain. There is a psychological need within the grieving process to feel as though pain is not merely isolated to the person experiencing it. The continual existence of the deceased eases the pain of those involved because it causes them to feel as though their messages can still be received, and a part of their relationship can continue. At the same time, since the internet is forever it can mean that the mourning process may never come to a natural end.

The internet is forever, we aren’t. And if we don’t start making decisions about our digital deaths, then someone else will be making them for us.