I am a venture capitalist. Here’s my daily routine.

8am: Wake up hungover from a crypto dinner.

While in bed, tweet how refreshed I feel from a great night on my Eightsleep and my 1-hour morning meditation.

9am: look at my reflection in the mirror and say “you are *not* getting disrupted by Tiger”. Repeat 10x, increasingly loudly.

10am: Look at the list of deal announcements on VC newsletters. Feel vaguely nauseous. “Should have done that one”. Then “oh, that one, too. And probably that one…”

11am: Haven’t tweeted in a while. Time for some thought leadership. What would Naval say?

11:30am: Debate how to reach out to a founder to tell them I “heard good things”. Email? Too cheugy. Text? Creepy. Telegram? Bit desperate. Signal? This job is so hard.

1pm: Lunch with another VC. We both agree founders shouldn’t take the highest valuation term sheet and should instead choose us because we bring value. Glad we got that settled.

2pm: I do a “walk and talk” with the CEO of a startup I invested in. I share tips about scaling that I learned from my 9 months of operating experience as a product manager at Salesforce 5 years ago. They don’t say much but I know they appreciate my insights.

4pm: I try to connect my MetaMask to my Coinbase account so I can buy the NFT that I already told everyone I own. Nothing works, gosh this is complicated. Try to find an explanation on YouTube, end up on Netflix.

Tweet that I am “going down the web3 rabbit hole”

6pm: Time for drinks. Hear how the founder I wanted to reach out to this morning got 12 term sheets this afternoon and got preempted. Oh well. Gossip about how the Midas List means nothing. Make plans to go kitesurfing with another VC.

11:30pm: Watch Succession. Tweet “wgmi”.