You may feel self-aware, but how often do you truly self observe? Do entry-level engineers or executives struggle more with self-criticism? How do you interrupt the programming that has been driving you since the day you were born? This conversation, when you apply it, will lead to massive engineering career success.

In this episode meet Jay Abbasi, a former Tesla leader turned career consultant with an inspiring story.

Discover the results of a 7-year search that began when Jay’s father passed away suddenly of a heart attack in 2014. He was devastated. At the time, his marriage was falling apart and he was in massive debt.

The goal? Uncover a methodology to find success and fulfillment in life.

The result? It led to him massive success in his career at Tesla. More importantly, it also led to him finding peace, contentment, and fulfillment no matter the external circumstances. Now he is helping leaders like you to have the same results.

So press play and let’s chat… see what you can observe about yourself through this conversation!

The Happy Engineer Podcast

WATCH EPISODE 21: DISCOVER SELF OBSERVATION WITH JAY ABBASI

LISTEN TO EPISODE 21: DISCOVER SELF OBSERVATION INTERVIEW WITH ZACH’S DEBRIEF

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DISCOVER SELF OBSERVATION: INSIGHTS FROM THIS EPISODE

Does this serve me?

What a great question. 

I know that this conversation is going to be that pattern interrupt that Jay talked about right? At the beginning of our episode today, did you catch that you have been programmed since the day you were born by all of the inputs into your mind and nervous system, and you need that pattern interrupt to put something new in its place.

So let’s take a minute and ask ourselves, what are we going to do? What are we going to take action on? And how do we need to change ourselves in this opportunity that comes with a pattern interrupt? First thing I want to go back to was what Jay talked about from entry level to senior leadership and the executive wing, there are certain elements that are the same. 

So no matter what level of leadership you are, if you’re an entry-level engineer still as an individual contributor, if you’re a middle level manager, or if you’re a director, VP, CTO, CEO, reading this. Two things that are common among all of those leaders that Jay has coached at all levels during his days in Tesla training: number one, a lack of clarity on what you want. And number two, a common thread of self criticism that you are your own worst enemy. So many successful people deep down have an issue with hating themselves, not feeling worthy, and not actually believing in their full capability.

It doesn’t look like it on the surface, but I think this is so important. I just want you to know that no matter where you are, no matter how far you have gone, we never stop coming back to the need for getting better. And for bringing our own self-worth, self-esteem, and mindset into order. If we want to continue to grow, that is such an important thing.

And I just want you to know there’s no shame if that is you, because that’s exactly what Jay is saying. We’re all in that place, no matter where we’re at in the journey that we need to continue doing work in these ways. That brings us to the next point about the muscle of our career growth. And we talked about delegation in particular about how it’s not binary.

It’s a muscle that you have to practice, but here’s what stood out to me as I reflected on that point: I think that muscle metaphor is applicable in so many dimensions of your career and personal development, you know, positive attitude is. Living with courage and confidence is a muscle, executive presence is a muscle, communication is a muscle, networking skills, dealing with approach… anxiety…

All of these things are muscles that need to be exercised and flexed regularly to keep them healthy and functioning at a high level. You know full-well your technical skills fall into this category. I mean, goodness, how many of my college exams could I pass now? Um, probably not that many because I’ve stopped flexing that muscle. And you must realize as an engineering leader, that you don’t go to one online seminar and master delegation or any of these other skills for the rest of your career. It’s something you continue to grow in and you must continue to get stronger in these areas for you to lead at that next level.

I know that’s why you’re following this podcast and reading this blog, because you desire bigger results. So recognize you need to go to the gym of personal development in your life. Where is that happening for you? Do you have a coach? Do you have a training program? Do you invest time and money into yourself? Every single day?

I tell my clients that a percentage of your income and a percentage of your calendar must be set aside for personal growth and development every single year. 

Are you doing that? 

If not, now is the time.

We talk about self-awareness a lot in emotional intelligence, and I think it’s a great phrase. I know it’s well-intended and the definition varies from person to person, depending on who you talk to. What does it really mean to be self-aware? I love what Jay shared with us about that.

That connects with the engineer in me, and I think it’s going to connect deeply with you when you stop and think about self observation, getting outside of yourself and looking at your own life as if it is someone else. Getting outside and above the scenes of what’s happening in your own life and observing it like a scientist casually observing, without judgment, simply to see what is.

I love how Jay told us to do that daily. It’s not something that you do one time at a retreat. You don’t need to go into the woods and observe and reflect on yourself and seek to become enlightened. No, no, no, no, no. This is a practice. This is something that you do every single day to look and observe yourself as one of those key ways to start creating space for transformation in your life. 

Jay gave you some great tips on where you can begin, but I just want to challenge you right now, engineering leader: are you doing that? Are you taking those moments of pause and observing yourself? Because 95% of that powerful brain, that mind that is resting between your ears, is subconscious.

And that subconscious has been programmed.

It has been set up with habits and behaviors, attitudes, and emotions that it goes to by default. If we don’t begin to recognize that the subconscious which is driven by the language of emotion, that emotion is driving your life, even if you’re not aware or conscious. So start observing and start taking action to create the shifts and the transformation that you need in your subconscious.

So that what happens automatically is exactly what you need to get to the next level of your vision and goals. Awesome conversation with Jay Abbasi today. Definitely go look him up. And if you need support in any of these areas, if you’re seeking to build your engineering career, I would love to connect with you.

It’s been a pleasure, and as always, let’s do this.

Previous Episode 20: Leave a Legacy with Tammy Bohen

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ABOUT JAY ABBASI

In 2014, Jay’s father passed away suddenly from a heart attack. It was devastating. At the time, his marriage was falling apart and he was thousands of dollars in debt. This began a 7-year search to uncover a methodology to find success and fulfillment in life.

The methodology he discovered changed his life completely. It led to him joining Tesla and in under 4 years he worked his way up to running Sales Training at a national level. It also led to him finding peace, contentment, and fulfillment no matter the external circumstances.

Now, Jay’s mission is to leverage his skills and expertise to help professionals build careers they love while avoiding stress, anxiety, and burnout through 1 on 1 coaching and group coaching programs.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Jay Abbasi on LinkedIn
• Visit Jay’s website
• Book a FREE call and get help with true self observation that leads to success!

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Please note the full transcript is 90-95% accuracy. Reference the podcast audio to confirm exact quotations.

[00:00:00] Zach White: All right. Welcome back. Happy engineers. It’s absolutely a pleasure to be with you again, and you are in for a treat today. I’m with my new good buddy, Jay Abbasi and Jay and I first met in real life, not that long ago, just a couple of weeks ago in San Diego, California for an event called impact accelerator live.

[00:00:27] Our first virtual meeting was online before that is we’re part of a mastermind of coaches together, but Jay and I got to meet and actually embrace like a real human hug for, well, I think it was my first hug with somebody, uh, in 18 months after the world we’ve been living in. But Jay, thanks so much for making time.

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