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Burning Out? Give Yourself Permission to Dial It Back.

 2 years ago
source link: https://hbr.org/2021/10/burning-out-give-yourself-permission-to-dial-it-back
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Burning Out? Give Yourself Permission to Dial It Back.

October 06, 2021
Oct21_06_HBRStaff.jpg
HBR Staff
Summary.    We’ve heard it time and time again that overwork is ineffective to our productivity. More so, it can hurt our health. But giving ourselves permission to dial it back is difficult. We worry that we’re not meeting the needs of our clients or boss if we’re not “on” all the...

You’ve heard the stats on overwork and how huge a health risk it is. You’ve read the productivity articles and books indicating that loading up your week with more work hours doesn’t actually improve your results. And while the idea of dialing it back not only sounds appealing and is backed by significant data, giving yourself permission to do that is something else entirely.

There are many reasons why we put in more and more hours despite increasing evidence that it’s not only not effective, but it’s also shortening our lives. There’s the pressure to look like a hard worker who’s available at all times, especially in industries where responding to a client or your boss’s needs at any time is the norm. There’s the desire to get ahead and be selected for promotions, raises, and leadership opportunities. There’s the cultural messaging we’ve received our whole lives that putting in more hours and more effort ensures our success, even though discerning what to put your effort into is far more important than blanketing your life in hard work. And it’s hard to change a belief. Study after study shows us that we don’t change our minds even when given new, factual information that proves our previous beliefs wrong.

It’s no wonder, then, that despite plenty of evidence that dialing it back is smart for both our productivity and our health, we have trouble giving ourselves permission to do it. But just because it’s unusual or uncomfortable to change your work habits, it’s by no means impossible.

Here are a few things that have worked for my clients and in my own personal experience to give yourself permission to dial it back.

Notice the story you’re telling yourself about work.

It’s 6 PM. You promised you’d be home for dinner and bedtime, but you’ve got a few last emails you want to get out. In these moments where you have a choice to continue your old behavior of blowing past your boundaries or commitments to parts of your life outside of work, notice what story you’re telling yourself about why work is more important.

Take five minutes or so to write out the story you’re telling yourself, and then dig deeper. If the story is that if you don’t send out those last few emails, you’ll be behind tomorrow, ask yourself: Then what? Perhaps the answer is that then you’ll feel rushed to get your proposal in by the end of the week. Ask yourself again: Then what? Keep digging until you get to the core story. It will often be something like, “I’ll lose my job and then lose everything.”

Once you’ve reached this point, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it true that if you leave work at the time you said you would, you will lose your job and then lose everything else? In most situations, probably not. Our thoughts and feelings trigger our behavior, and our inner stories are interwoven with these thoughts and feelings. By taking a few minutes to interrupt your automatic thoughts, feelings, and behavior, you make it more likely that you can make a change.

Share your goal to dial it back with someone you respect.

According to research from the American Psychological Association, when you share your goal with someone you perceive as having higher status or you respect, it holds you accountable for doing it because you care about their opinion of you. Plus, when it comes to allowing yourself to take your foot off the brake a little, chances are one of the reasons it’s hard is because you want “higher-ups” to see you as a dedicated, hard worker.

The person you share your goal with doesn’t have to be within your company. It could be a mentor, friend, or family member who you admire for their ability to do great work while also giving themselves permission to live their life to the fullest. Beyond simply holding you accountable, they might also offer helpful guidance you about how they gave themselves permission to dial it back that you can then follow.

Go all-in on what matters.

We tend to be very 1 and 10 in our thinking, telling ourselves the erroneous story that doing less in one area means doing less (or nothing) everywhere else. That’s how we convince ourselves that it’s not ok. That math simply does not add up.

Instead, do an 80/20 analysis and determine what 20% of tasks or projects give you 80% of the results at work. List your biggest wins at work (the results you’re after, your biggest priorities, or your top goals) on one side of a piece of paper and the tasks you do on a daily basis on the left. Draw a line from each of the big wins to the tasks that were most directly responsible for that outcome. Circle the tasks that have lines drawn from them. That’s your 20%.

Once you know this, you can give the most time and energy to the things that matter, and you can see the other areas where you can dial it back, delegate, or eliminate things altogether. Plus, if you know you’re devoting the best of you to the things that matter at work, you’ll also have an easier time shutting it down when it’s time.

Fast forward.

Bronnie Ware’s beautiful book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, reminds us that it’s incredibly common for people to wish they hadn’t worked so much when they’re on their deathbed. When we’re caught up in the daily grind, it’s easy to get stuck thinking that reworking that report for the 100th time or putting in an extra two hours a day at our computer is crucial to our lives.

Instead, consider this exercise: When I feel stuck in an old pattern and have difficulty changing my behavior, I like to fast-forward and ask my 85-year-old self what she would wish I would have done at my current stage of life. Doing so allows me to see the bigger picture, rather than the deadlines or stressors that are my immediate focus at that time. You can do the same. When you zoom out and pretend you’re looking back at your life, it’s easier to see what’s essential and what isn’t.

Your ability to give yourself permission to dial it back (even just a little) has the potential to drastically improve your results and protect your health. You work hard, and you do work that matters. You deserve to achieve your goals while giving your body and mind the space they need to perform optimally as well.


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