The boundaries that you choose to set in your life serve to communicate what you will (and won’t) accept not only from other people — but from yourself.

Boundaries are an important element of our self-worth, self-respect, and self-love. They empower you to choose the reality you live in and the relationships that you cultivate.

Here are ten signs that you’ve established healthy emotional boundaries:

1: You value your own time and energy.

As we get older, we learn to appreciate the time that people spend with us more than the money that they spend on us, because you can get more money, but you cannot get more time.

The same goes for our own time and energy — it is finite as you only have so much of it to use. Once we truly realize this, we immediately see that it is our most precious asset and therefore must only be given where it is deserved.

Healthy emotional boundaries will empower you to stop wasting your time and energy with the people and doing the things that take away from your happiness and productivity more than they add.

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2: You’re comfortable saying no.

How many invitations have you accepted because you felt bad saying no? Or that you’d let your friend or colleague down, so you went anyway? Or — that someone might not like you anymore if you decline?

Part of valuing your time and energy (See #1) is being able to turn down the things that take away from it.

I used to have the philosophy of “say yes to everything!” I was always on the go, accepting every invitation, no matter how last minute. I always had a spare blazer or tie in the car just in case something popped up — which it often did.

Therein lies the problem, though. Not every opportunity that arises is going to be one that serves you, which will eventually become exhausting and confusing. You’ll be spending so much time doing so many things that you’ll lose sight of what the benefits are actually supposed to be.

Instead, use the clarity you’ve gained around your goals and desires to determine what will bring you closer to them, and politely decline anything that doesn’t fit the bill.

3: You speak up when you’re treated poorly.

There’s an old quote that says “strong people stand up for themselves, but stronger people stand up for others.”

In theory, it works — but in practice, it can be very challenging to stand up for one’s self.

Consider all of the times we’ve “let things slide” at work, in a relationship, friendship, or even with family — because we didn’t want to make waves or cause a potential problem.

In doing so, we are dishonoring our own boundaries and standards for the treatment we accept, and we are doing it by prioritizing an avoidance of conflict over our own self-worth.

Let me rephrase that: Your self-worth must be stronger than your need to avoid conflict.

By no means am I saying that we should run around like vigilantes fighting against every small injustice. We must pick our battles and choose where to focus our energy, but we do this by setting our boundaries, so we know just what we are and aren’t willing to accept.

Setting them, though, is only half the battle. Enforcing them is the rest.

4: You’re good at decision making.

Let me first say that decision making can be a skill, and you shouldn’t immediately feel bad about yourself if you’re not great at it.

What you should ask yourself is: Do I avoid making decisions because I don’t want to upset anyone?

People who are quick (and efficient) at making (good) decisions are capable of doing so because they understand where they’re going and what they’re looking to accomplish.

When you have a clear view forward, it’s easy to see the road you want to take to reach your destination.

When your only goal is to avoid the potholes, you’ll be spending all of your time reacting to the road and going wherever it chooses to take you.

5: You end toxic relationships.

Few things in life are more difficult than walking away from a toxic partner or friend, and only those who’ve “been there” can truly understand the magnitude of conviction it takes to sever the ties.

The fabric of these convictions are your boundaries. Boundaries give you the strength you need to stay clear on what it is that you deserve and to draw the line when you are receiving less, or negative, treatment.

Taking the difficult and monumental step to end the toxic relationships that are emotionally, mentally, or physically harmful to you is one of the most difficult things a person can ever do — which is why we must honor our own boundaries first.

6: You accept that your needs are just as important as anyone else’s.

One of the biggest things that holds people back from getting their needs met is — you guessed it — placing everyone else’s above their own.

This is common in people pleasers and those who strive to make everyone else happy at their own expense.

Let me make sure this is clear:

I am absolutely not saying that you should stop doing things for others, or compromising, or prioritizing the needs of a loved one or family member. This nature of contribution is what makes relationships rewarding, fulfilling, and mutually beneficial.

What I am saying is that if you find yourself constantly putting others above you to the point where you are emotionally or mentally exhausted and your mental health is suffering, it’s time to reevaluate where you fall on your own list of priorities.

Your mental and emotional needs are just as important as everyone else’s — and what’s more — if you don’t maintain your own well-being, you’ll never be able to support anyone else’s.

7: You attract mentally and emotionally healthy people.

Like attracts like.

Mentally abusive, toxic, or narcissistic people tend to seek out people who they know they can manipulate and exploit. In other words: People with weak boundaries.

They lack their own internal strength and therefore must look for those who they can knock down in order to feel better about themselves.

They know that people like you with healthy emotional boundaries will not stand for such foolishness, so they don’t even bother to try.

Conversely, those who are well adjusted and mentally healthy are drawn to others who exhibit the same traits and habits as they do.

They take care of their body and mind.

They spend time doing things they love.

They are passionate about causes and contribution.

They can be found in groups of driven and ambitious people.

When you maintain healthy boundaries for yourself, the life that you live shines into the sky as a beacon meant to attract others who’ve chosen to do the same.

8: You’re an original, not a copy.

There are approximately 7.9 billion people on the planet, all of whom have unique and individual personalities and viewpoints.

This makes you uniquely special in unspeakable ways.

Setting healthy emotional boundaries empowers you to honor that uniqueness by staying true to yourself and avoiding the pitfalls of imitation or simply trying to copy those around you.

The key is looking at the reasons why you admire the people you admire, and working to exemplify those traits, not the person themselves.

If you love that someone works hard — work hard.

If you love that they are relentless — be relentless.

If you love that they’re loving and caring — be loving and caring.

But do not mold yourself to be that person. That is a betrayal of the unique and powerful individual that you are.

9: You selectively share personal details.

Have you ever met someone and learned their entire life story within 30 minutes of shaking hands?

It’s nice to be friendly and conversational, but one must ask themselves what boundaries a person like this has if they’re willing to share the most intimate details of their life with someone that they’ve just met.

How can they trust you? How do they choose who they share this information with?

People with strong emotional boundaries will understand that not everyone deserves unfettered access to you and your most closely kept secrets. The most raw and uncensored version of you is reserved for those who’ve proven that they deserve to be let behind the gates.

Yes — you should always be authentic, honest, and genuine with everyone you meet. But, being yourself around people doesn’t mean showing all of yourself to them right off the bat.

10: You feel deep self-worth and fulfillment.

When you’re comfortable in the boundaries you’ve set for yourself, you feel a sense of peace and comfort “behind the walls” that you’ve built to keep out those who are toxic or harmful.

You feel more proud of yourself and sure of your decisions because you’ve chosen to honor your own mental and emotional space.

It’s not your responsibility to fix someone else’s toxic patterns, but it is your job to recognize and protect yourself from them.

Healthy boundaries allow you to build stronger relationships, feel a deeper connection to your work, live with a higher sense of purpose and identity…

Healthy boundaries illustrate who you are to the world, and to yourself.

Nothing is more powerful than that.

James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach.

Finding success in creating hundreds of viral articles and videos on building limitless confidence and healthier relationships, James has accumulated over 38 million visitors to his website and a collective social media following of over 400,000.

James speaks at live events and in the media across the U.S. and has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.