OPINION

Design is hard; sometimes, I want to give up.

It’s hard because we have to make choices of design solutions based on a lot of assumptions. We have to convenience stakeholders based on psychology knowledge, which people still concern about whether it is a science.

Moreover, feedback from stakeholders sometimes is just their feelings, senses, and beliefs. If we don’t acquire people skills and learn how to get quality feedback, it will be a nightmare for designers.

But I have designed for more than 21 thousand hours and keep counting. This story is what I learned after going through many times thinking about giving up.

It’s not just about our work; it happens everywhere.

The first 3 kilometers of jogging are always our longest 3 kilometers. Once the body shows signs of fatigue, hunger pangs, and the legs begin to stagnate, the following thoughts will surface:

• Well, I ate too late today. So I am running out of energy now; I had better go home.
• It’s been a busy week. I think I’d better go home.
• My injury from the last football game still causes me pain. I shouldn’t run.

They are different reasons, but they all lead to one same Rome: contemplating giving up. They appear in short-term tasks, such as push-ups (the 30th time) and planks (the 40th second), and long-term pursuits, such as keeping good habits or daily work.

It is not difficult to see that when we pursue an objective with several challenges or failures, we will automatically think about “give up.”

But why do we always think “give up” is the first choice?

Admittedly, in the face of difficulties, the easiest thing to do is giving up the goal that troubles you to turn to another. Here are the reasons why I think “give up” is too often an option:

Our expectations disappoint us.

When we are first working towards a goal, we will think of the prospect of achieving the goal. We will become better, more perfect, and more successful. The result is so that we “forget” the obstacles along the way to our destination and enthusiastically envision finishing it smoothly.

But Murphy’s Law says,

“When bad things can happen, they will happen.”

Running 5 km seems simple, but you encounter obstacles when an injury recurs; the project you found easy to accept, and some people put forward suggestions without aesthetic taste. Or the career goes well, but there comes a project that fails. When we are disappointed in something, we choose to quit.

Our impaired self-confidence.

As stated in the article “Confidence in creativity is not given; It is earned,” It would be best if we had the confidence to survive and overcome our fears. Perhaps our deepest fear is, “Do I have enough talent to get what I want?”

Not to mention, according to Freud’s pleasure principle, our brain is more likely to make the happiest choices. It means that it always needs quick returns. When there is no immediate result, our trust is easily hurt, which leads to anxiety and the desire to give up.

We believe that there will be other better choices.

“If I quit this job, I can find a better place, a cuter colleague, and I don’t have to endure this weird boss.” The idea of “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence” always urges you to think about “give up.”

At this point, this article is very long already. Have you ever considered “giving up” reading it? If not, I’ll tell you why “give up” is sometimes good, and so is persistence.

It’s good to give up sometimes.

Because it gives us a better choice, I gave up playing games at the age of 20s, which was my only passion. I could reach the top of any game, so it was easy to make money from it.

Choosing to give up playing games to pursue designation designing seems to help me create more value (in fact, if there were a parallel world, I would still be playing games, to compare with my present). Although this choice was also tricky, so far, I have never regretted it.

If you don’t ever give up, you may waste time and energy on things that can’t create real value. It’s like persisting in pursuing someone who doesn’t love you or adding just a drop into the bucket.

Failure to give up our cherished goals will also harm our health. According to a study, a person who falls into impossible goals is more likely to suffer from depression, headache, and digestive problems.

And persistence is also good (of course).

I don’t think I need to say much about how persistence can get strong support from society. “Grit” is defined as persistence and enthusiasm for long-term objectives that are also essential factors for success.

Grit gives us different views on challenges and limitations. They become opportunities for long-term learning and development.

Finally, luck may come to a person with enough persistence at some point. Research into the careers of 29,000 artists, filmmakers, and scientists shows that most of them have a peak in their careers, but it happens randomly. It is unrelated to age, experience, or productivity. They need to hold on long enough until things happen.

So when should you give up?

Don’t expect this article to answer the above questions correctly because I am unsure whether I always choose. But I know that you must consider the reasons for giving up.

Don’t give up just because:

• You are lazy; you want comfort. The most common reason to give up something is also the worst reason.
• You want to succeed as soon as possible; you are not satisfied with the speed. If you can achieve your goal quickly, maybe you should reconsider whether you have set a big enough goal.
• You find other things that “look” more attractive. If you keep giving up for this reason, maybe you will never accomplish anything.
• You feel lonely on the road. Think about a marathon, sometimes you don’t see other runners, but it doesn’t mean there is no other one. People are working on their destiny, so are you.

You can give up because:

• Your heart isn’t in what you’re doing. It does not require you to be happy and comfortable in every aspect of what you are doing but wholly immersed in it.
• It is no longer suitable for your life goals, just like when I quit gaming because my life goals had changed.
• It is hurting both the body and the mind due to your heart no longer being there.
• Just because it failed, even if you put your heart into it and tried 150% of your energy, you still can’t finish it. Now it’s time to admit that it’s not suitable for you. Give up to avoid wasting time and energy.

Last considerations

You choosing whether to stick to or give up a particular goal does not fully reflect your ability or who you are, nor does it indicate whether you are successful or not. Remember, this kind of life is limited, and you don’t have as much time as you thought. Too many wrong choices will waste a lot of a happy life.

Therefore, try to understand the reasons for making choices and to make wise choices before this happens.

Thank you for not giving up reading this story.