This sexist emailing strategy went viral on TikTok. And it got me thinking.

Women are expected to talk less during meetings. Men in power tend to think that women can’t stop talking. But the pattern is clear and consistent: it’s usually men who won’t shut up.

When I used to mirror how men would act during teams, like them, I would brainstorm an idea. Then, a male colleague would say that I’m angry, “Hey, we’re all on the same team here!”

I never spoke harshly or raised my voice. On the contrary, he’d go on to explain his point, not allow others to talk and interrupt us.

Manologues, mansplaining, and manterrupting are all hallmarks of the meeting room (or Zoom call). As an experiment, I decided to do business like a man for a week. And it worked.

What Do You Mean “Like a Man”?

Well, I finally updated my email style to match my male colleagues.

Now, that might scream sexist to you.

But if you’ve ever worked alongside both men and women, you will almost certainly have seen some of the classic gender differences in behavior. For example, emails.

When I emailed “like a man,” I started to notice more email responses and more connections via LinkedIn.

Feminists will criticize, “aren’t women recruited for the ‘differences’ they bring?”

I disagree. If this were true, most of us would feel terrified. Personally, I’d hate for employers to hire me because I dress up in glittery pink and I spend my weekends watching cat videos and soap operas.

Women should be recruited for the qualities they have in leadership, teamwork, and independence.

However, these qualities don’t shine in women because we’re told to fit into criteria, much like how society tells us to fit into a pair of denim: don’t be so bold, don’t raise your voice, don’t speak for too long. Just shh.

Why Do Women Use Soft Language?

A 2015 article features the known-for-bluntness actress, Jennifer Lawrence, who spoke eagerly about an idea to a male employee. From his reaction, you’d think she hurled a chair at him.

It’s simple, really. Women think they’ve stated the case effectively, and everyone else will wonder why you were so angry. Instead, you have to translate. You start with your thought and then figure out how to say it as though you were groveling an apology for an unknown error.

This shows us why women end up softening their language. So what about the how?

In areas of business – like emailing – apologizing and saying “I think” are ways you soften the way you talk. This demeans women of the incredible ideas they have.

Here are my three ways to email “like a man” or, in other words, to combat “soft talk.”

1. Say “thank you” instead of “sorry”

Last week I missed a phone call with my first client. Instead of saying “sorry for being late” as I usually do. I immediately called back and thanked her for waiting.

This is an action most leaders don’t do.

It lightens the mood, whereas lingering on your grievances and apologizing too much could put your client in an awkward position.

You’re also thinking about their best interests in mind, without compromising yourself in the same breath.

2. Delete “I think”

If you can’t believe in your own business, who will? Be confident in your abilities and your words.

Don’t tentatively insert your idea into your email. People want to hear absoluteness when it comes to business. No “I’m not an expert but” or, “I think” — deliver your message with 100% confidence and your statements will sound much stronger.

3. Refrain from “does that make sense?”

This makes us sound like we think our ideas might be unclear. We pre-empt criticism from others. Or, we say it because we are attempting to make a “bid for connection” with our audience: we invite the conversation, and this feels like an easy way to do that.

The better alternative is “Have any questions? Let me know.” It’s open-ended and allows the listener to ask questions that didn’t make sense to them.

It’s important to remind ourselves that women have been pushed back from writing confidently for years with the um’s, the sorry’s, and the but’s. Just to make you feel comfortable.

But our job as entrepreneurial women isn’t to make you feel comfortable. It’s to be bosses, leaders, and CEOs without the fear of losing our jobs. We should be allowed to email how men do on a daily basis without being scrutinized by society on our unladylike-ness. It’s time for women to be ferocious.

Final Recap of What To Do

• Replace apologies with “thank you.”
• Delete “I think” and be confident in your own words.
• Refrain from “did that make sense?” Let people question what didn’t make sense to them.